cast away

Mornings had always been her time. It didn’t matter that most folks woke with dawn before alarm clocks had started to shriek them out of bed, or that kids had always been kids, waking up to bolt out the door, chasing after their father as he’d headed for his smithy early. When dawn had just started to lend its pearly touch to the sky, she’d been up. A time to sneak down to the stables, to scratch her fingers over the noses of the horses who still bore North Wind’s blood, to curl in a corner of the settle in their home, the fire warming her feet as she went through the ceremony of brewing the tea the English still had no real notion of, those little bricks of black leaves she still traded with those who made the arduous journey from the east. Small moments of peace to look forward or back.

Jo curled up in a corner of the couch, a cup of tea in one hand – over seven hundred years and she still couldn’t bring herself to make that leap to coffee – yesterday’s newspaper spread over her lap, not that she was seeing what was on the page. Still a time of contemplation, to wonder how to pick her way forward on that path she hadn’t seen looping back on itself. She hadn’t imagine that she would find Magnus on it again in a million years. All those years she had suspected that he had been as she was, but that was no guarantee that he would survive. Philippa had died, deservedly, and it could so easily have been Magnus buried cold and grey too. She lifted the cup, swallowing down some of the heat convulsively. She would picture it now, not when they were both here in Mystic Falls with a second chance – perhaps a dozenth – in front of them.

Her fingers would curl around the opportunity as surely as they did cup, when she got up the nerve to do it. If she didn’t, then Roxxi would surely find a way to make it happen – just to ensure that her second great love didn’t slip away from her without knowing how she felt. Tucking the cup against her chest, imparting heat to a heart that had started to beat as it hadn’t done for centuries when he had helped her from her car, Jo tipped her head back against the couch and tried to slot the possibilities into a neat little schedule. Too clinical, maybe she should go with spontaneity, channel her inner Roxxi.

Heat flared then, the blush surely enough to actually colour her cheeks when her phone buzzed beside her. Roxxi. At the crack of dawn, like a razor tongued fairy godmother to tell her how to stop second guessing herself. Just go for it, sleep with the man for God’s sake!

Setting her cup aside, Jo reached for the phone, swiping her thumb over the screen and grinning before the time registered. The sun was up now, but it was still early, too early for off hand calls. Worry bit deep, her other hand tightening in her robe as she answered. ”Hey …” The crack in Roxxi’s voice propelled her up from the couch before the rest of the request had even reached her. Bare feet padded fast across the rugs and into her bedroom. ”I’m never too busy for this, OK? I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, honey.” She tried to drift into reassurances, but what did you say when a friend had her heart torn out by their one great love?

Roxxi’s cries felt like were echoing in her ears as she scrambled into clothes and rushed out, the same way she had the night Lincoln had gone missing and Magnus had been standing just inside the doorway, fear and sadness etched into his face that she couldn’t brush away.

What was wrong with him? The question swept through to finally drown out Roxxi’s upset as she got into the car. Jo gritted her teeth against it, resisting the urge to make a pit stop on the way to fire that question right at Chase. She’s the best thing you could have, she loves you. Why would you break her heart? The crack of her hand across a fool’s face coming faster than the recollection of all that Roxxi had told her before. The video. Chase’s brother. One or the other perhaps the straw that broke that camel’s back while Roxxi’s heart shattered.

She took the stairs when she reached Roxxi’s building, moving faster than a human could’ve as she caught the faint scent of blood on the air. Fear tugged at her gut, left her breathless as she burst through Roxxi’s apartment door. Broken hearts drove you to do things you would never usually. The scent was stronger in the apartment, a trail that led her into Roxxi’s bathroom.

Jo stared at the streaks of blood that marred the tub and the floor, feeling just that cold greasy fear in her stomach instead of the hunger that would have hit uncontrollably centuries before. She shrugged off her coat, dropped her bag in the doorway and crossed to sink down next to the tub. ”No apologies,” she said softly, brushing Roxxi’s hair back from her face. Her aching heart twisted in her chest as Roxxi began to explain, all that she’d dreaded apparently coming to pass, leaving Chase unable to look past what had happened and it’d been his brother tossing that last straw in. ”It must have been a shock, to both of you.” It was a knife to the heart and that wasn’t a quick fix.

Crawling closer at Roxxi’s sobs, Jo wrapped an arm around Roxxi’s bare shoulders, drawing her in even as cried out again. Maybe it was Mikey she needed to slap for this. ”You haven’t lost him. Love doesn’t let go that easy and I know it is love for both of you. You don’t hurt this badly for the hots alone. He’s going to come back to you, he’s going to stop and think and realise that he can’t let you go.” Her throat ached at the words, the some possible future she imagined might have run through Kaegan’s mind while he prayed for the sickness that was supposedly claiming her to pass, so she could come home. She smiled, froze as Roxxi opened her eyes finally, looking up at her with those pale amber irises instead of her usual dark ones. Jo drew in a breath, trying to separate what Roxxi was from what she was going through. ”Roxxi … are you hurt? The blood … did something happen after you left?” Not out of grief perhaps, as she’d first worried, but out of the strain that pulled your system out of whack, that tore at you in ways most couldn’t imagine.

Tagged: ROXANNE BRASCHI * Word Count: 1150

Magnus had loved Philippa, but the love of two good men didn’t negate the fact that she had been a manipulative bitch. She’d felt the woman’s hands close around her neck an instant before Philippa had snapped her neck. The Queen would’ve done anything possible to cover up her dirty little secret, including kill a woman. Turned as she was, she’d had no hope of revealing Philippa’s crimes without damning both herself and Magnus and the Queen had known it. Even now it put a bad taste in her mouth, tinged with the remembered tang of Philippa’s blood, forced past her lips. Honesty could get you hurt, but keeping the secret… They were words she would not speak aloud, for Roxxi’s sake.

Unlike Philippa, there hadn’t been a maliciousness behind Roxxi’s silent. She’d heard love in Roxxi’s voice, not madness, not anger and avarice. She could see what the truth had cost Roxxi and wished she could ease it as she’d done her sons’ heartbreaks when they were but children, whispering words in Mongolian to soothe them, threads of stories and song spilling out the same way they had done from her own mother when she was young. This wasn’t just a skinned knee though, it was harder to soothe a shattered heart.

Vindictiveness had never come naturally to her, but Jo wished she could pay Chase’s brother back with a taste of this – the adage about blood being thicker than water had endured because it was the truth. He had threatened Roxxi into speaking up about what had happened, perhaps to ease his own stinging conscience. Her hand brushed over Roxxi’s hair again, an absent gesture of comfort. ”He won’t blame you more for saying the words in the end,” she said softly. Perhaps it meant that Chase would be more likely to consider her version more the truth for it, even if those words had spilled up out of a deep well of guilt and heartache.

On her knees at the side of the tub, Jo drew Roxxi in closer to her, feeling her tremble as she held her. This was no small case of the blues born of a heart that hadn’t been fully committed. Love could tear you to pieces, figuratively, literally … Her gaze dropped to the stains on the edge of the tub again, skittering back to narrow faintly with concern. ”He’ll remember that,” she promised. ”It’ll hurt for now, and maybe he was trying to sooth that sting for now, but it’ll ease and he’ll remember. I know he loves you too.” That much had been evident from all Roxxi had told her until now, until Mikey had pried the two of them apart.

Her arm tightened as Roxxi sobbed again, he cheek pressing against the top of Roxxi’s head. ”You didn’t, baby. You couldn’t have known then, and when you did, what you were doing was to protect him.” Because she hadn’t wanted to hurt the man she loved. She had done the same with Kaegan, trying her best not to destroy his heart when she had to leave. It had seemed better for him to believe she had died peacefully than for him to realise what she was, or to lose her in the way Magnus had eventually lost Philippa. She had missed the aftermath of her actions, the same way both Chase and Mikey were missing it now. If they could’ve seen her…

Jo made a sound of protest, unsure if Roxxi would hear it over her doubts and the cries that wracked her. Her hand flattened over Roxxi’s collarbone in emphasis, her brows drawing together. ”I don’t think you want him to walk away, even if you think it would be safer for him. Alone isn’t better, Roxxi, it just means that you won’t be there if something does happen. Dented heart or not, he needs you, just as you need him.” The secrets that were left might have eventually scorched another hole in their relationship, like a cold escaping the hearth to burn through the rug, but their relationship could survive it. ”He might have, but it might not make him love you any less. When you love someone you’re capable of moving past more than you could ever imagine.” And if Roxxi’s family did come, then it would be better for the two of them to stand against them together, rather than broken and apart.

Sometimes no amount of the truth could convince you that your worst fears wouldn’t come true. Those images developed claws and buried them deep into the part of you that hurt the most. Without Ananda and Elizabeth, without knowing that Magnus would be there for Kaegan and her sons, she’d have done more than just leave. Jo felt her own fear crystallise the same way her smile had done as Roxxi’s irises had changed and she took note of all the small signs of the damage that seemed to be rampaging through her friend.

Shifting on her knees, Jo tried to get a better look at her, without letting go of Roxxi. She saw Roxxi try to block out the view before she denied that she had come to harm. ”Are you …” Sure. Her hands stayed on Roxxi’s shoulders, so still, but Roxxi’s were rising from the water, the claws she’d half expected after she’d seen her eyes extending from the tips of her fingers. They disappeared as Roxxi curled her hands into fists, a flinch running through her as she realised that they had pierced Roxxi’s palms. Like fern fronds in the sun, they unfurled again, the wounds that had produced the rivulets of blood that had streaked pink and red down Roxxi’s arms vanishing.

Puffing out a breath, Jo was pulling Roxxi back in. ”I can promise I won’t,” she breathed. As she met Roxxi’s eye, she trailed her hand down her arm to take one of her hands. She knew that Roxxi wouldn’t hurt her. Her chin rose half an inch, her storm grey eyes closing for a moment before they opened again, revealing the darkness eating up her irises, the blood red that filled the sclera. ”There’s no need to explain. What can I do for you? How can I help?” There had to be something she could do to help steady Roxxi, to find some control in a system obviously sent into free fall by her broken heart.

Tagged: ROXANNE BRASCHI * Word Count: 1072