arrears

If he’d stood on the bank, staring at her through the windshield of the sinking car, a moment longer, would it have been her body he pulled out instead of a breathing, panicking, live woman? A spark of life might have lingered, the way it had when they’d pulled him from the lake, just enough for him to think, to hope, he could rekindle it with his hands and breath. Just enough to devastate him later when he played that torturous game of ‘what if’ as she laid in a morgue, growing colder with every passing second.

He hadn’t hesitated though, even if it meant that when he’d popped into her car Cory had found himself chest deep in the icy water. The steering wheel’s impact had stopped him from feeling anything after the first crushing blow when he’d gone into the lake. Even if it hadn’t there’d still been nobody there with him to hold onto, nobody to share that breathless fight against the rising chill with. Nobody to fight with the seatbelt, not until the paramedics had arrived and dragged his lifeless body out.

Cory scrubbed his hands through his hair again, leaving clumps of it – now dry at least, albeit still smelling enough of river water to have his nose wrinkling – standing up on end. He could have ‘popped out’ and showered at the motel while the detectives had talked to Ruby, but just thinking about it made him feel sick (it wasn’t the river water, that had come up in a rush into a trash can a couple of yards away), like he was cutting the cord between the two of them. Like he was letting her drift away.

Turning away from the trash can and its rank contents, Cory stared at the back of the station. Had he already been half there with the connection that tied them wrist to wrist like handcuffs when he’d seen the car go over the bridge? Maybe. It had been easy to imagine it was his own, the crash of metal, the breathless drop and splash, the panic that rose with the water. The words that had babbled out of Ruby’s blue tinged lips had been those cuffs clicking another notch tighter – a missing child. Someone had taken her, ripping away from what she’d known, putting her on a road that had led right onto Wickery Bridge. To him.

Leah, even Damien or Elias, would’ve told him it was all wishful thinking and he was just drawing parallels between the two of them because he wanted to believe he’d done something right – that he’d saved himself in part – but it wasn’t that. If it was it would’ve been himself he was thinking of instead of Ruby and her family.

The dark haired detective, the guy he could’ve fitted into twice over, had led Ruby away when they’d arrived, promising he would take care of her. They had to talk. Yeah, well that made two of them. Explanations had burned on his tongue as he’d finally unbuckled the seatbelt (had he needed to? Could he have just taken her without freeing her first?), shoved aside as they’d gotten out of there. The car might’ve gone under dramatically the moment they were out, air rushing to the surface in a cloud of bubbles, but they hadn’t been there to see it. He’d taken her to the one person who might’ve been able to dig into the old records – and maybe get her some medical help, once they’d worked out who she really was. Dani. Cory turned raked his teeth over his lower lip, tearing away a ragged thread of skin, going back to chew again anxiously. Only Dani hadn’t been there then. The desk had called out the big guy to get her instead, to draw her inside and stop her from dripping river water onto the floor of the reception area.

Cory wiped his hands down his jeans – still damp, clinging to him uncomfortably – as he turned away to pace. He’d sat there, continuing to drip, knotting up inside, until her family had come. There was one, people still looking for her, leaving him scurrying out to give them the room they deserved. Miracles did happen, and they lit up the faces of the little kids like it was Christmas. His lips twitched before the smile fell away, they were still rare, people were still lost, they were grieved, they didn’t come back. Ruby was probably wrapped up in their arms now, tears and hugs all around, a shattered family repaired. He should’ve been gone, answering the bell that rang insistently in the back of his head from time to time. Stop wasting time, get back on the job – or just go and find Dani.

Snap.

The side door he’d vanished out of – to lurk like some juvenile delinquent in the lot, waiting for Dani to come back to the station – opened. He didn’t see her right away, but it didn’t stop that feeling like something was being plucked in the pit of his stomach. Cory’s brows furrowed, his steps between the cars slow until he emerged and saw her striding through the lot. She’d changed clothes, some at least, but he thought he still caught the whiff of river water off of her – almost enough that he sniffed at himself again.

Blue eyes slid sideways, to the path that led around the station – back towards the reception area and maybe the family who’d swept in on that wave of relief. The lines between his brows deepened as he looked back. When he’d come back all he’d wanted was Dani, the only family he really had left. Some part of him had been hollow until he’d been clinging onto her, crying in the rain … up on that bridge.

She stopped, staring at him before she snapped, something far angrier washing through her words. No more pleas, just the barks probably intended to have him scrambling away – poor Cory, shaking at the forcefulness of a strong willed woman. ”Me?” Cory croaked, pulling his hand free of his pocket to spread it on his chest. A stupid question, obviously him. ”I’m nothing to do with them … I was helping. And yeah, I was waiting for you I guess.” Or Dani, but that cord had still been there, he’d felt it, hadn’t he. ”I’m not a taxi service. I don’t just drop people off and leave them.” He studied her face, feeling something like the water swirl around in his chest, a tide trying to catch at him. ”Why are you out here instead of with them? That was your family right? People were looking for you?” People who’d clung onto a lifeline, hoping that one day they’d haul in the little girl they’d lost, even if she came with a smart mouth and an attitude about as friendly as Leah’s right now.

Tagged: RUBY HERRERA * Word Count: 1168

’Don’t get attached, you’re not keeping him.’

The slurred warning had left him dragging the dog closer to himself. Sat in one corner of the ramshackle tree house he’d started with his dad (the one that hadn’t made it up into the tree and just leaned drunkenly against it), Cory had watched his mom walk unsteadily back towards the house. It was a she anyway. Small enough that she could curl up in the nest he’d made by pulling the hem of his sweatshirt down to the bony knees that poked clear of the ripped knees of his jeans. He’d already shared a little of the half a PBJ he’d kept from his lunch, the dog’s tongue swiping the last smears of jam off of his fingers before she’d wriggled up to lick his face. If he could convince some of the neighbours to let him mow their lawns, even if it was just for a few cents, he could pay for her food. By the time he’d snuck her up into his room, he’d had a plan in place.

All through school the next day he’d been counting up how many houses he’d need to hit up. 50 cents from each house on their side of the block and he’d had enough for one of those big bags of Kibble at the corner store. Dani would have to help him carry it home, but it would be enough for a couple of weeks maybe. Especially if he kept sneaking her part of his meals, just a little bit of his sandwich here, the end of his hot dog at dinner. He’d do all the walking too, she’d already been real good overnight, no accidents in his room and she’d pooped when he’d walked her that morning. Running home, he’d almost tripped over his own feet, but there’s been no answering wuffle of an excited dog as he opened the door to his bedroom. He’d dropped down on his knees, checked under the bed, and in the whole house like she could’ve gotten out through a closed door.

’His family came to take him. I told you not to get attached didn’t I?’

Her. His mom couldn’t even get that straight. He’d checked every telephone pole on the way home that first night and there’d been no posters for a missing dog. Handed off to one of her drunk friends, tossed out onto the street, or, way less likely, handed over to a shelter, Cory never knew. Nights of crying himself to sleep over it hadn’t helped. She was meant to be a wild thing, according to ma’s mutterings, but nothing that had licked his knuckles that way … or had held onto him the way she had could really be a wild thing.

Dark eyes narrowing, glittering, teeth bared, a bark he didn’t listen to. None of it was going to have him backing up, his hand held out, fingers curled into his palm in case she nipped – he doubted he could even catch tetanus, but still. Cory drew in a breath, straightening up taller for just a heartbeat before the colour rose in his cheeks and he slumped back – turning into the kid who’d tried to stay in his sister’s shadow by telescoping down every time someone turned their attention on him.

Instead of puffing himself back up while she scoffed, like someone trying to scare a bear off with his size alone, Cory just shifted from foot to foot, his jaw tight. ”Right, helping. I wasn’t going to leave you on your own, not after you…” Nearly died. This wasn’t like just taking someone’s hand to head up to Heaven. That had been scary, but the minute he’d stepped foot into the house and had seen his dad there, all the fear had vanished, popping like a bubble in his stomach as the tears had started to stream. ”You asked me to save you,” he countered. Cory gestured towards the station, his fingers spread. ”I would’ve come in with you if I could, but they wouldn’t have let me.” The detectives would’ve wanted that time with her alone, to ask the questions that would clear up the mystery of everything that had happened then and now. The same ones that had spun in his head the entire time.

Cory felt that tension in his chest. Guilt, like he hadn’t done enough. He’d saved her life, brought her to the people he thought he could help, but then he’d left her on her own. Would she have carried on clinging to his hand in there if he hadn’t broken the contact? ”I’m sorry,” he rasped. ”I didn’t mean to fuck it all up. Did they … what did the detectives say? What are they going to do?” Solving a kid’s disappearance decades later didn’t seem like it’d be easy. Even if they could figure out exactly what had happened, what Ruby’s dad had done when he’d taken her and killed her mom, were they gonna be able to find out where he was and lock him up for this?

Like he’d done with the dog, Cory held both hands out, taking a slow step after Ruby did, stopping her from running around him. She’d frozen, looking like maybe she would bite. He drew his hands back an inch, his brows furrowing. Had she been that way with her family? Unwilling to go home with strangers, like maybe they’d kick her out for having fleas or for growling at them out of fear. They’d seemed nice, nicer than his own mom had ended up. ”That’s understandable, you haven’t seen them in years. I’m sure they get that.” She’d softened at the words, looking back over her shoulder. Cory inched in as she turned back to him, forcing himself not to stiffen up as she looked him over. ”I guess.” If he was them it would’ve hurt though. Getting back someone you loved only to lose them again minutes later. After he’d found Dani they’d clung together, not letting each other out of their sight. Their little miracle sealed up until they felt sure again.

His head tilted, the ache flickering through his chest at her snapped words. A scared dog’s warning, stay away, don’t hurt me, no amount of assurance warding that off at the start. ”Maybe it’s not,” he agreed. He’d saved her life, that tied them together didn’t it? Like the string lead he’d made for the dog, so thin, but unbreakable until someone else had snapped it. ”Why do you think I want something from it? I can’t just be worried for you?” Cory shook his head, licking his lips, giving himself time for something more to come to him. ”I was worried about you. You … you nearly died in the car. You were alone there … I know what that’s like. I thought maybe … you could use someone who understood … for now at least…” He’d wanted to check she was really alright, to make sure that the conversation with the detectives hadn’t left her shaking, the way she had done when she was in his arms with the water rushing up around them.

Tagged: RUBY HERRERA * Word Count: 1201

Elias would probably pop a blood vessel when he found out that someone had been saved instead of their soul just scooped up after. He would’ve stood on the bank of the river, huffing and puffing over the time it took for the car to sink and the woman within to drown. Leah too, although maybe she would’ve hopped in the car to help it happen a little faster. It would’ve been the natural order. Or bullshit. Cory cringed as he even thought the word. His gaze darted aside from the woman in front of him, the one who wouldn’t let him near now, even though she’d clung to him in the car, like he was the only one who would keep her afloat. Death wasn’t there, waiting off to one side to punish him for stepping out of bounds.

His eyes darted back, his frown starting, a slow furrowing of his brows as she lied. He hadn’t, he was sure of that. The fear had been there in the car, the bubble of it threatening to push all the air from both sets of lungs. Maybe she hadn’t said the exact words, but she’d wanted it. He wasn’t that naïve, no matter what the others said. ”You didn’t want to get out of there?” Cory asked, purposefully trying not to make it sound argumentative. Did it really matter now? She was safe and not even in trouble with the police. She couldn’t have been since they’d let her go. It would definitely cross a line, but he’d ask Dani later. Off the record, just to know whether or not Ruby was in trouble for something that wasn’t her fault.

Like a puppy smacked no the nose with a newspaper, Cory recoiled slightly as Ruby made it clear he shouldn’t poke his nose into it at all. He swallowed back that desire to help her, in a way he and Dani hadn’t been when they’d been left with no parents after their dad had been shot. Back then he would’ve bitten someone’s hand off to be able to take that weight off of his sister’s shoulders, now Ruby was just biting that hand. ”Sorry,” Cory muttered again. He hunched his shoulders, shifting his weight again, but not stepping back. How did you when you knew someone needed help down deep?

Automatically Cory shifted when Ruby had, bracketing her in. He had almost a foot on her, a spindly reach she’d have to dart to get around, but it wasn’t like he would chase her around the parking lot of a police station. She stumbled back though, making his cringe inside. Ruby probably would’ve denied it with every ounce of air in her lungs now, but she seemed scared of him in a way that almost had his hands dropping. With all that had happened to her, he was the one thing she shouldn’t have been scared of, btu she was and honestly he got that. God, he’d been scared for half his life, not that there’d really been room or time to tell her any of that in the car. I get it, only took you so far, but her family couldn’t even say that much.

Cory’s lips pressed together, that ache in his chest for her, for them, intensifying. It must have been such a weight off of her family, but maybe in them finally being able to push it off it had all come down on Ruby, leaving her unable to breathe in another way. He shook his head, his lips parting faintly. ”Not knowing them doesn’t make them not your family. It just means you don’t see them the same way yet. They’re not gonna blame you for that. You don’t remember them at all?” They’d known her mom, known her too if the tidal wave of emotion he’d seen when they’d burst into the station had been anything to go by. He’d been pushed from the station by it all, knowing his place wasn’t in the middle of all of that. Ruby obviously didn’t see hers there either, even if her vanishing again was probably gonna crush them all. Hope swelling, wrapping around them all before it popped.

Nobody who knew him would’ve said he had a thick skin. He was the wimpy kind, recoiling from any swing – physical or verbal – instead of standing up for himself. Ruby was doing all she could to get him to do that, tearing at him with words and an attitude that was all spikes (covering that soft belly that was probably scarred over by now, but still tender enough that she wasn’t allowing it to show), but he wasn’t deflating the way her family would. He was clinging on, ignoring all those tiny wounds the spikes would tearing through him.

Cory frowned, his arm drawn in so he could hold a hand up between the two of them, warding off those spikes, the snapping teeth, all the signs of someone ready to bite out of fear. ”Yes,” he argued. ”Caring about what’s happening to someone doesn’t cost them anything. Whoever told you otherwise was wrong. I’m allowed to give a shit, you know.” He tried to tell her why he had, but Ruby was just tossing the question back, like she wanted to peel over his own scar tissue. Here wasn’t the place, especially since there were still cops in the station who could come out and see some random guy – tall enough to be considered hulking maybe – getting pushy with a woman. It wouldn’t matter that he’d never raise a hand to one, not even Leah and out of anybody he’d ever met, she probably deserved it most.

Knuckling his mouth, Cory felt that vulnerable part of him he’d known better than to expose to any of his fellow reapers. Leah would’ve torn right through it with the claws she hadn’t lost when she’d died. He blinked, sniffing back the half imagined scent of river water as his hand dropped. ”Drowning. Except I didn’t have anybody to pull me out. I had my sister, so I can’t even pretend that my childhood was as shitty as yours, but I know what it’s like not having a parent love you like they should. I didn’t …” The last two words snapped out almost indignantly, a little heat finally touching his words. Maybe he didn’t know anything more than what she’d told him in the freezing water, that didn’t make any difference in wanting to help her though. ”I never said you did,” Cory said hoarsely. ”I want to help.” Somehow he was drawing the line at begging though. Somehow.

His hand slowly curled shut as the nerves seemed to build, crackling in the air like the electricity did in the cheap street lamps that kept the lot from being pitch black – not that the cops would’ve been scared of that, Brooke probably would’ve strolled right out there, inviting the trouble to find her. ”You can go,” he muttered, swallowing hard. Cory didn’t follow, just stood there, nerves twitching under his skin, like one wrong move would have things popping. ”I was gonna offer to take you wherever you’re going … you’ve not got a car now. I can … I don’t have one either, but I can take you where you want to go and then I promise, I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you really want.” He wasn’t gonna push until she practically exploded, she’d had enough of people making her do things – they could want to now, even if she didn’t want them to.

Tagged: RUBY HERRERA (finish with yours?) * Word Count: 1268