ANTONIO ALVAREZ
Dragon
Posts: 226
Age:
124
Occupation:
Firefighter
Status:
Married
Partner:
Ethan Alvarez
Played by:
Emma
For so long I was blind but now I see
Last seen May 7, 2024 0:40:00 GMT
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Post by ANTONIO ALVAREZ on May 26, 2021 22:50:57 GMT
Their wedding day had come and gone but as far as Antonio was concerned it was one he knew he would remember for the rest of his life. They had been able to celebrate with the people who meant the most to them in the world and for a little while they’d been able to stay in their little bubble even though they weren’t going on their honeymoon just yet but now it was back to reality for a while and Antonio was more than ok with that. He loved the family that he and Ethan had built together and right now they needed to be there for the kids as they made it through to the end of the school year. Soon enough they would be finishing for the summer but until then he and Ethan needed to help the kids as much as they could and that was exactly what they were trying to do. This time next year all three of the kids were going to be graduating and that was a scary thought to say the least. Antonio knew that they were all getting older and didn’t need them as much, Elias was going to be turning eighteen soon and the girls were only a year behind him, so he knew that he and Ethan needed to spend time with them while they had the chance. Some teenagers didn’t like having their parents around as much but thankfully they’d ended up getting pretty lucky with theirs because they didn’t seem to mind one bit. They were a close family and Antonio knew that he wanted it to stay that way. That day he and Ethan had both had the day off so they’d been able to spend some time together while the kids were at school but as the afternoon went on Antonio had gone out to run a few errands and pick up some things for dinner unaware that while he was out things at home were changing. Bringing the car to a stop on the driveway, he climbed out and grabbed the things he’d picked up while he was out before heading inside. Dropping the bags down on the counter, he was surprised to realise that the house seemed to be completely quiet. “Is anyone home?” he called, starting to wonder if they had all gone out after all. No one answered but as he reached the bedroom that he and Ethan shared he caught sight of his husband inside. The sight of him was enough to make Antonio feel better in an instant but he still couldn’t shake the bad feeling that had started to build in the pit of his stomach especially when he realised that Ethan didn’t seem quite himself. “Hey babe, what’s going on?” he asked, hoping that Ethan might be able to shed some light on it. “Are you okay?”ETHAN ALVAREZ
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ETHAN ALVAREZ
Phoenix
Posts: 211
Occupation:
Firefighter
Status:
Married
Partner:
Antonio Alvarez
Played by:
Noe
he thought about wanting to feel like he had been made for something more than dying.
Last seen May 6, 2024 22:05:18 GMT
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Post by ETHAN ALVAREZ on May 30, 2021 2:28:02 GMT
━ my past has tasted bitter for years now. ━ Ethan had been lost in his thoughts for a while now. It's awfully crowded in his head, too many voices, too many thoughts, too many 'what if's. He should be happy, shouldn't he? Happy that he has a kid of his own. Wasn't that always his wish? But wasn't this the same kid who had suffered so much in his life because he didn't have a set family? Wasn't he the one who died in his home and lost his parents in the fire? Wasn't he the same kid who lost the only girl he's ever cared about? He never would have suffered through any of that if he had a father.
If he had Ethan.
But instead, he had unknowingly put his son through so much heartache... He'd never felt so much guilt before. Sure, he'd felt guilt before and there were mostly all linked to his work and the people he often fails to save, but nothing this intense before. Ethan had unknowingly screwed up his own kid's life so damn bad that he has nightmares about it every night. Ethan let out a sigh as he lifted his drink up to his lips, letting the alcohol slide smoothly down his throat, accompanied by a burn he knew all too well. He finished his drink in a big sip, hissing slightly at the slight burn that accompanied it. He pushed himself up shortly after, leaving the glass down on the table to clean up later as he heavily made his way to his bedroom, stopping momentarily to glance at Elias' room before his guilt consumed him again and caused him to immediately look away as he entered his room, closing the door behind him before he sat down on the edge of the bed, heavy eyes focused on his trembling hands but at this point, he wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or because of his nerves. Ethan wasn't so sure how he was still holding himself together when everything in his being ached to cry.
"Fuck..." He whispered under his breath as his hand soon came sliding down his face. He found himself lost in his thoughts for a long time until he eventually snapped out of it when he heard Toni's voice. He lifted his head to look at his husband, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Hey," he greeted, his voice a little croaked. It really didn't take long for Toni to realize something was off about him. Soulmates, weren't they?
"Uh, no." Ethan wasn't gonna lie or pretend that he was okay. He always wanted to be honest with his husband because he knew that nothing destroyed relationships more than secrets. "I don't think I'm okay." He whispered, his eyes moving down to his hands as he gnawed on his inner cheeks. "Y'know how, uh, how I've always wanted a kid of my own?" Ethan questioned, his eyes still not meeting Toni's. "Turns out━" The words sat so heavily on his tongue as his lips parted and closed a few times before he took a deep breath and slowly released it. "Turns out that I do have a kid, Toni."
"It's Elias." Ethan revealed shortly after. "And I know that I s━should be happy, that I should be━ ecstatic about it but I━" He felt tears gather in his eyes as he took a break to catch his breath because he felt like he'd just finished running a marathon and his chest felt so ... tight.
"But how could I when I've put him through so much pain and━ and suffering? Had I been there for him none of this would have happened to him, Toni. None of it. You know what the hardest part is? We never would've known if it weren't for his school project, Toni. I never would've known..."
ANTONIO ALVAREZ
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ANTONIO ALVAREZ
Dragon
Posts: 226
Age:
124
Occupation:
Firefighter
Status:
Married
Partner:
Ethan Alvarez
Played by:
Emma
For so long I was blind but now I see
Last seen May 7, 2024 0:40:00 GMT
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Post by ANTONIO ALVAREZ on May 30, 2021 18:27:25 GMT
That day was just like any other and when Antonio headed into town to run some errands he hadn’t known that things were about to change within the walls of the home that he and his family had built together. He had thought about asking Ethan to join him since they both had some free time but he always preferred it when at least one of them was there to greet the kids when they got home if they could be especially after the day that Antonio hadn’t returned home with Ethan after he got trapped in the cave and it had given him the chance to pick up a couple of things for the kids and his husband as well as what he’d needed to get for dinner so it was definitely worth it as far as he was concerned. Antonio knew that perhaps it was still the high he’d felt at the wedding still lingering but the truth was that he was happy. Things were going well for all of them and after everything that they had all been through he knew that he wanted it to stay that way for as long as possible. Elias seemed to be doing better for the most part although Antonio knew that the boy was still struggling to an extent but after what he had been through that was completely natural. The girls were happy and with any luck he and Ethan were closer than ever to finding a way to break the curse on Samara’s bloodline once and for all. Even Diego seemed to be settling in well to life in Mystic Falls and his job working with them at the firehouse so Antonio knew that they were lucky. As for Ethan, the two of them were still very much in their own little bubble but he couldn’t help but think that married life suited them and it was something that he knew he was never going to get tired of. Setting the bags down in the kitchen so that he could unpack them later, Antonio caught sight of the glass on the table and he knew that it was Ethan’s. Heading upstairs there wasn’t a sound coming from any of the rooms and that alone was enough to put Antonio on edge a little. He had grown so used to the noise that often came from having three teenagers living in the house and with six of them under one roof considering that Diego was still staying with them there was always something going on. That day was different, though, and as Antonio opened the door to the bedroom that he and Ethan shared he knew that something was going on. Ethan was smiling at him but the smile didn’t reach his eyes the way it usually did and that wasn’t usual for Ethan. He could already tell that whatever was bothering Ethan it was something serious and he closed the door behind him before making his way over to their bed and sitting down next to Ethan. Antonio’s eyes searched Ethan’s face for any sign of what was going on and as Ethan said that he didn’t think he was okay, Antonio could already feel his heart starting to ache for his husband. Ethan was usually the one who was always able to see the positives in most situations so for him to be looking this upset really was enough to worry Antonio. “What is it, what’s wrong?” he asked, placing his hand on Ethan’s leg and giving it a gentle squeeze. Whatever it was he knew that they would deal with it together the same way they always did. Antonio wanted to help his husband and he wanted to shoulder some of the burden that was weighing down on Ethan right now but he knew that the only way he could do that was if Ethan opened up and let him. They had always been able to talk to each other about anything and Antonio knew that hadn’t changed. They might not have told each other everything about the time they’d spent apart but they supported each other completely and they always had done. “Yeah, of course,” Antonio said as Ethan asked how him wanting a kid of his own. It was something that they’d talked about a few times and they knew that they were both on the same page of it. Ethan wanted a kid that shared his DNA and Antonio knew that he wanted to help make it happen so when they were ready they were going to start looking at the different options available. Clearly that wasn’t what this was all about, though, and as Ethan said that it turned out that he did have a kid, Antonio’s eyes widened in surprise. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to hear from Ethan next but it definitely wasn’t to hear that Elias was Ethan’s son after all. Antonio could see the tears forming in Ethan’s eyes and that was enough to have Antonio reaching for his husband, pulling Ethan into his arms and hugging him tightly. For a moment he wasn’t sure what to say but he soon found his voice. “None of this is your fault, do you hear me?” he said fiercely, hoping that Ethan would listen to his words. “You saw his birth certificate just like I did, the father’s name was blank so for all we know the truth died with his mom. There was no way you could have known,” he added. “If you had you would have been there for him, we both know that and I’m sure Elias does too. He loves you and he knows that you love him too,” he said gently. He wasn’t sure if his words were going to do any good right now but he did know what it felt like to suddenly find out that you were a father because the same thing had happened to him the day that Samara had left the girls on his doorstep along with the letter explaining everything. “You’re sure that his project is right?” he asked, knowing that the surname Granger hadn’t meant a thing to Ethan even when they’d been starting to look into how to adopt Elias. Antonio had joked about how much Elias looked like Ethan a few times but he had never imagined this. ETHAN ALVAREZ
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ETHAN ALVAREZ
Phoenix
Posts: 211
Occupation:
Firefighter
Status:
Married
Partner:
Antonio Alvarez
Played by:
Noe
he thought about wanting to feel like he had been made for something more than dying.
Last seen May 6, 2024 22:05:18 GMT
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Post by ETHAN ALVAREZ on Jun 5, 2021 3:32:23 GMT
━ my past has tasted bitter for years now. ━ Ethan was distraught over the whole thing; over the fact that he had a son of his own and he knew that if it weren't for the school project, he never would have found out about Elias. He would have continued living obliviously with Elias as his adopted son. But now, he knows a lot more about Elias' life. Now he knows that Elias is his kid. It was something he didn't expect. Sure, they had their similarities but he really thought it was just a coincidence but now... Now he knows better. But he just couldn't shake off this sadness; he couldn't shake off how disappointed he was in himself for putting Elias through so much suffering for simply not being there for him. A lot would have happened differently if he had been there for his kid, but no. He had to leave ; he had to break up with his ex-girlfriend just because he couldn't bring himself to fall for her. All of this was weighing him down so heavily and he hated himself for it. But then Antonio pulled him into a hug and it was like all those thoughts vanished entirely.
He wrapped his arms around Antonio, his fingers grasping tightly onto the material of his shirt, almost threatening to create wrinkles into the fabric or stretch it, but in that moment he had no control over what he was doing as more tears began to slide down his cheeks, leaving him feeling vulnerable but if he can't be vulnerable in front of his husband, then where else? The reassurance that this was not his fault was everything he needed to hear in that moment and more because there was that ugly voice in his head that kept telling him that he was at fault here. That everything was his fault ; all the pain and suffering Elias had to go through was because of him.
You saw his birth certificate just like I did, the father’s name was blank so for all we know the truth died with his mom. There was no way you could have known, If you had you would have been there for him, we both know that and I’m sure Elias does too. He loves you and he knows that you love him too,
Ethan pulled away from the hug with some difficulty as he moved his hand up to his face to wipe his tears away, followed by a few sniffs as his blue eyes settled upon his husband who continued to reassure him, saying everything that Ethan needed to hear in that moment as he nodded his head a few times. "Yeah... Yeah, it was blank." There was no name for the father and it was just a woman's name, a name he didn't recognize at first. "I would have been." Ethan whispered with a quick nod of his head. "I would have been there for him every single step of the way. He wouldn't have had to go through all of this, Toni. If I had known..." Ethan trailed off, his heart clenching in his chest.
"The first time I saw his father's name left blank, I thought to myself who could ever just leave like that? There are hundreds, if not thousands of people out there trying their hardest to have a kid and he just leaves? But as it turns out... It's me, Toni." Ethan breathed out before reaching up to wipe his tears away. He'd never felt such a crushing sensation before.
You’re sure that his project is right?
Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose before nodding a few times. "Yeah, it's right. I saw his mom's name; May Rickman. It took me a moment but I remembered her. She was my, uh, girlfriend for a while. I had no idea she was pregnant when we broke up. She ... looked the same, or maybe I wasn't looking hard enough. Maybe she did get sick and I just didn't notice, I don't know, Toni... I just know that back then, I was too busy berating myself for feeling nothing for her." Ethan's lips stretched to form a melancholic smile. At the time, he thought he was broken or something. How could he not fall for someone like May? She was perfect in every sense of the word but he just couldn't. He felt nothing for her and knowing what he knows now, it was because he was already in love with someone else and that person was none other than Toni.
ANTONIO ALVAREZ
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ANTONIO ALVAREZ
Dragon
Posts: 226
Age:
124
Occupation:
Firefighter
Status:
Married
Partner:
Ethan Alvarez
Played by:
Emma
For so long I was blind but now I see
Last seen May 7, 2024 0:40:00 GMT
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Post by ANTONIO ALVAREZ on Jun 5, 2021 23:29:50 GMT
When Antonio had headed out earlier that day everything at home had been normal but after he didn’t get any answer from anyone in the house when he called out to see if anyone was home he had known that something was going on. One look at Ethan had confirmed it for him but the truth was that Antonio never would have imagined this in his wildest dreams. He and Ethan had both felt protective of Elias from the moment they met him and they hadn’t let anything stop them from taking him in after he lost his foster parents. Antonio had often joked about how similar Ethan and Elias looked but it had always been just that – a joke. It had never occurred to him that Ethan might actually be Elias’ father but he knew that Ethan wouldn’t be this upset if he didn’t believe that it was true. It was a lot to take in and Antonio wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it but he knew that that didn’t matter right now, it could sink in later but for now all he wanted was to make sure that Ethan and Elias were going to be okay even if they might not necessarily believe that right now. Soon enough Ethan’s arms were wrapped around him in return and Antonio ran his hand up and down his husband’s back gently as he held Ethan in his arms. It was all still so surreal but he stayed quiet, letting Ethan get it all out of his system. He had been through so much already and Antonio knew that Ethan was going to feel guilty about what had happened but as far as he was concerned there wasn’t any reason for him to feel that way. He hadn’t known about Elias because if he had done then Antonio didn’t doubt that Ethan would have taken care of the boy but he knew that it had to be a shock because he could still remember how he’d felt when the girls were left on his doorstep. It was an awful feeling to know that you’d missed out on a lot already but with Elias it had to be even worse and Antonio was glad that Ethan was taking the time to let it all out even if seeing him broken like this was enough to make Antonio’s heart ache for him. Reluctantly letting Ethan pull away from the hug since Antonio could see that he was still upset, he reached forward and took Ethan’s free hand in his as Ethan used the other to wipe his tears away. Nodding as Ethan repeated what he’d said about the father’s name being left blank on Elias’ birth certificate, he knew that Ethan meant it when he said that he would have been there for Elias. Ethan’s parents hadn’t been great at being there for their son but he had still become someone with one of the biggest hearts that Antonio had ever known. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Ethan would have done right by Elias if he’d been given the chance just like Antonio had always tried to do right by the girls since they were left on his doorstep. Some people weren’t born to be parents but Ethan wasn’t one of those people, he was a natural and Antonio knew that he would have stepped up. “You can’t go back and change what has happened but you can be there for him now,” he said gently, hoping that Ethan would listen. “I know he’s been through a lot and it will take him some time to get over all of it but he’s a strong kid and he’s safe with us. I know you wish you could have been there for him but to be honest I think it’s a blessing that he came back into your life when he did. You had the chance to be there for him when he needed you the most,” he added. There hadn’t been any new foster placements that Elias could have gone to so he would have been taken out of the State again with no idea how he was even still alive but that hadn’t happened. He had a home and a family now and Antonio knew that he finally felt like he’d found the place where he belonged. As Ethan said that he’d wondered how Elias’ father could have just left like that before explaining what had happened with May, Antonio’s expression softened. “If you didn’t notice anything then chances are she was in the early stages of the pregnancy when the two of you broke up just like Samara was when the same thing happened with us. There aren’t always warning signs early on and if May met someone after you then she might not have even known who Elias’ dad was herself or if the relationship was new then she might have wanted to give the guy a way out. What exactly did the project say?” he asked, unaware that another name had shown up which had been labelled as being the man everyone had assumed was Elias father. “I know nothing I can say will stop you feeling the way you do right now but one thing I know for sure is that there isn’t anyone who would fight for him more than you.” That much he was certain of, he had seen how protective Ethan was of all of the kids and there really wasn’t a doubt in his mind about that. “You can’t blame yourself for choosing not to stay in a relationship that wasn’t right for you,” he added. No one should ever have to do that and he hoped that in time Ethan would see it too. “How is Elias doing?” he asked, not sure if they’d spoken much since finding out. ETHAN ALVAREZ
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