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Post by MEREDITH FELL on Nov 16, 2021 0:47:32 GMT
Catch Our Breath (with Greg Decker)
Meredith did her best to smile, hoping it would bring comfort to the little girl currently getting stitches. She was well practiced at this particular task so she was able to do it with quickness and ease but still, this was a scary place for a child. Especially on a day like today --- with the waiting room crammed full, bells and pages constantly going off and of course, the sight of the needle. So Meredith smiled, even if it didn't quite reach her eyes.
She was good at pretending even when she was exhausted.
"You've been so brave," she told her little patient, finishing stitching the wound. "I want you to be careful over the next week and come back to see me so we can take these out. We can do that in my office. It's nicer there and I think I may have some candy hidden away but you can't tell anyone, okay?" After getting a conspiratorial nod, Meredith really did smile, a proper one. She stood, her body protesting the movement as she did. She watched the girl go to her mother in much better spirits than when she first came in and thanked the higher powers it hadn't been worse. She had seen children come in the emergency department beyond saving. This...this was almost normal. She liked normal.
After giving some care instructions to the pair, Meredith excused herself and headed back towards the nurses' desk. As she did, she craned her neck to get a look at the waiting room. It wasn't empty by no means but it also wasn't crammed to the rafters. She let her shoulders fall a little in relief. It seemed the worst of it was over, not that she would say that aloud. It would be akin to cursing herself for the rest of the shift. She handed the girl's chart to the charge nurse. "I am going to grab a cup of coffee --- maybe something to eat too. Is it past supper time?" When the charge nurse nodded, Meredith made a face. She had missed another meal. "Thought so."
Food came from a vending machine. She would do better when she was off for the night. It would probably be takeout but it was better than a granola bar. She had stuffed half of it in her mouth as she wandered into the staff lounge. Her cheeks were puffed out a little when she spotted him in another chair. Her eyes widened and she worked to swallow her makeshift supper. "Dr. Decker!" She figured she might be a little red from being caught chipmunking her food so she moved towards the coffee pot. "Coffee? If you're anything like me, you'll need it hooked up intravenously to keep going to the end of this shift..."
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GREG DECKER
Human
Posts: 198
Played by:
ANGE
Last seen May 2, 2024 18:05:04 GMT
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Post by GREG DECKER on Nov 21, 2021 18:09:01 GMT
Before they’d classified PTSD it had been known as Shell Shock. Men and women exposed to the explosive horrors of war left permanently shaken by it in some cases. He had been, although it hadn’t been war that had run those cracks through him in the end but the bloody and violent world that hid in the shadows of their own.
As the tray had hit the floor of the exam room, kicked off of bed by his squirming patient, Deck had flinched. The appearance of a nurse through the curtain to pick it up, leaving his heart galloping in his throat. He’d tried swallowing it back, offering the nurse a grin before he’d coaxed the patient down flat again to try and work the earring out of the man’s plum sized and just as purple ear lobe. Tremors held back while he’d worked the earring free of the flesh that had puffed up around it as infection had set in to the new piercing set in as he stripped off the gloves.
Deck forced a smile for the man and tipped his head out towards the desk. ”Pick your scrip up at the desk on your way out. Take the whole course of antibiotics, no cutting off part way and keep it clean this time, huh?” Grim amusement tugging at his lips that turned brittle the minute the curtain swished closed behind him. He’d been there – a love sick teenager willing to do anything for his first love, although he’d never gone as far as piercing his ear for it. Until Soph had come along he’d never even really known what love was like and then with a swipe of claws, it had been cut away from him, leaving that bit to carry on bleeding.
Dark eyes swept the ER as he headed for the desk. A clamour of voices sending that shiver through him again until he was sure it was just a couple of kids in the waiting area, toys whizzed through the air while they shrieked. She’d made the offer to him, to forget it all and put this behind him but in the end he’d turned the vampire down.
”Masochist,” he sighed out. Scrawling the order for antibiotics to deal with the infection in his love sick patient’s ear, Deck shook his head. Foolish more than masochistic perhaps. How long was he going to spend jumping at every shadow before this new revelation set in and he could cope?
Pushing the thought away he tucked the chart into the rack to go upstairs and headed for the lounge. He needed a minute to pull himself back together. There was enough leeway in the queue of patients for him to take just that.
Alone in the dim light of the room he sank down in a seat. Turned away from the door, the windows, screened, especially once he ground the heels of his palms into his eyes. Head down between his knees Deck just breathed. A slow cycle that meant his heart only made a half hearted leap for his throat when the door opened again.
Doctor Fell. One of Mystic Falls’ home grown docs. He straightened up, watching surprise work its way across her face as she spotted him. Chips swallowed fast. ”Dr. Fell,” he said lightly, dipping his chin. He curled his hands over the arms of the chair, rubbed them back and forth lightly, unsure whether he should make his escape before she was dropping the offer of coffee in his lap. ”Coffee? Sure.” Clearing his throat, he rose, shoving his hands in the pocket of his jeans as he approached. ”I’d have a permanent line implanted for it if the higher ups didn’t frown on it. You think an eighth cup’d do the trick?” A thin veneer of humour that wasn’t as hard to paste on these days as it had once been.
He tugged a hand free to grab himself a mug, one for her too. Deck tipped his head back in the direction of the waiting room. ”How’d the girl do? I saw you going back with her.” She’d had a way with the girl, one that had reminded him of his own mom. All those years of watching her take care of other people’s kids before the crash had taken her, then it had been someone else’s mom taking care of him and Lucas in the ER while they’d waited for their dad to get there.
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Post by MEREDITH FELL on Nov 22, 2021 22:53:43 GMT
Catch Our Breath (with Greg Decker)
Meredith tilted her head just a little as Deck seemed to come back to life. She was used to finding a colleague or two in the break room. Most of the time they were sprawled out on the couch, their face buried in the pillows as if they could forget that they were in the midst of an eighteen hour shift. She never blamed them --- sometimes she did the same. However, she didn't think that this was what he had been attempting to do. There was just something about the way he held himself that made her wonder. She prided herself on being a good read of body language (it helped immensely with what she did) but she knew there was a difference between diagnosis a patient and dealing with a co-worker.
She focused on the task at hand, grabbing the pot off the burner. It always seemed to be full. She supposed she had to thank the never ending flow of caffeine addicted people for that. She turned back to pour a hefty dose of the stuff into each of the mugs he was holding. "I have an in with the big guy upstairs..." It helped to have her last name every now and then (okay, more than that but she didn't want to dwell on that fact). "I will see what I can do." She was turning to put the pot back in its place when he spoke of how much he had. "I am sorry? Did you say eight? Do you even want to sleep today?" Her tone was teasing and honestly, if she thought over every mug she had consumed throughout the day, she was willing to bet that her consumption was high enough to rival his.
She reached out to take a mug from him, liberally adding sugar to it. She loved the boost that coffee could give her but not the bitter taste. She smiled when he asked about the girl. "She did great. A little scared at first but it's hard not to be given the day she has had. But she sat through the stitches better than some adults do. I don't think I was that brave at such a young age." But then again, parts of her childhood were now a blur. It seemed to her that there was life before she knew the truth about this town and then life after. The life before had blended together and become idealized in some ways. She had to reminder herself to look at those memories through a carefully constructed lens to avoid confusion.
She finally took her first sip of coffee, humming in appreciation as she did so. When her eyes opened again, she glanced over at him, her mind running over how she had found him once again. He might be up for conversation but she still got the feeling that all was not what it seemed. Since she couldn't just come out and tackle the situation, she decided to prod around it a little and see what came of it. She was quick to settle into a chair, putting her feet up. "What about you? How has today been? I see you got to deal with the aftermath of that drunken fight at the Grill. Who had it worse? The blonde or the little guy?"
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GREG DECKER
Human
Posts: 198
Played by:
ANGE
Last seen May 2, 2024 18:05:04 GMT
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Post by GREG DECKER on Dec 6, 2021 16:38:31 GMT
The hospital’s new owner, rising up, it seemed, on family money rather than the merit of clawing their way up through the ranks, had cracked down on him hard enough that Deck was sure he still had the whip marks on his back. A coping strategy that left him working double or triple shifts as often as he could get them – anything to avoid having to head back to the cabin to try and sleep among the ghosts of his former life – stripped away in an instant. He’d clawed his way back from it, seeming to stay upright even without the crutch – until the vampire had arrived. Years of working his way back from the tragedy erased in an instant.
Something told him the ‘big guy’ wasn’t about to go back that order just because he was falling apart at the thought of a vampire returning to ‘gift’ him with more knowledge of what was out there. The slanted smile he offered her as she filled the cups he held felt weak. ”I guess a little history in town helps sometimes, huh?” he mused. His own had been brief. Mystic Falls was only ever meant to be another of those brief stops in a long line of them. Somewhere to work and hide until the pressure got too bad and he bolted again. Deck cleared his throat, raised dark brows over the lip of his cuff as he raised it to his lips, another of those smiles, perhaps with a little more behind it this time. ”Yep. That’s the plan,” he told her. ”Sleep’s meant to be for the weak, isn’t it?” It was for those who’d manage to get it without being torn out of it screaming as nightmares shredded like fog around them.
He propped narrow hips back against the counter for a moment after she took her coffee, watching Meredith dose her coffee liberally with sugar. Deck glanced down at his own as Meredith filled him in on the girl he’d asked about. Kids … had never been his easiest patients. He wasn’t awful with them but in combat there wasn’t much call for dealing with them. ”I’d have bawled like a baby while my mom patched me up … she was an ER nurse.” An admission that still left his throat tight. It had been someone else patching him and Lucas up after the smash that had killed their mom. ”A few months and she won’t even remember how scary it was. The scar’ll just be something cool to show off to her friends.” Deck shrugged his shoulders slightly, feeling his own brush against the cotton of the t-shirt he wore under his scrub top. No longer raw but forever different to the rest of his skin.
Dark eyes remained on the doc as she sipped at her coffee, a little huff of amusement as she hummed out her appreciation for the caffeine. His lips quirked as she glanced at him, his gaze tracking her as settled down in a chair, feet propped up on another. Probably aching on the job, bound to be sore as hell by the time her shift was over. Staying where he was Deck swallowed hard, took a large gulp that burned faintly on its way down. When his was over he’d scurry out, still looking for her. ”Fight?” Deck asked hoarsely.
His pulse kicking hard for a second before the trail of patients resolved themselves in his head. ”The blonde,” he confirmed, the grin spreading. ”You ever hear about always putting your money on the little guy? They’re viciously, always got something to prove – this one was a total Chihuahua.” The snarled words in the waiting area had probably been the start of his slow slide towards a panic attack. Just the thought now had his hand jerking, coffee splashing his knuckles. ”Shit,” he cursed. He tried to laugh it off, snatching for napkins to blot at himself. His hands still shook as he did it, fingers clamped tight around the paper.
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Post by MEREDITH FELL on Dec 9, 2021 22:51:02 GMT
Catch Our Breath (with Greg Decker)
"Or sometimes you can have too much history and everyone expects you to behave a certain way..." She trailed off and made a face. Definitely not the time or place to get into family drama. She had done well to sidestep the worst of the Fell legacy but it was still looming over her head, like a dark cloud waiting to crack at the most inopportune moment. Until it did, she would hold on tight to what she knew --- and that was helping as many people as she could given the circumstance.
Meredith was in her own little world as the caffeine worked its magic. She needed this more than she realized. It wasn't just the false boost of energy that would sustain her for a few more hours until she finally crashed properly. It was just the action of sitting down, of relaxing and just turning her brain off for a moment or two. She was glad that she was not alone. She might not have been paying him the attention that he deserved but she was present enough to keep the conversation going until her momentarily break from her surroundings had passed.
She had been told she worked too hard. Maybe there was something to do that.
"For the weak? Maybe, but definitely a necessity," she pointed out, the doctor in her never quite leaving her be. He was probably joking, spouting off something similar to what she would say but Meredith sincerely hoped that he was not overdoing it. This hospital needed good people like him and there was only so far you could push yourself (and yes, she knew damn well that made her a hypocrite to the nth degree because she didn't always practice what she preached).
For the first time, she took a real good look at him, her gaze more clinical than it had been before she stepped into the room. She shifted her weight a little, not even realizing that she was shifting back into doctor mode. He was tired but then again so was she. It went beyond that. There was something else, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. For now, she kept the conversation going. "A nurse huh? I bet she was a badass. You have to be a badass to be a nurse in the emergency department," she concluded. Without her nurses, Meredith was sure that she would be nowhere fast.
There it was, something else that ticked a box in her head.
Meredith frowned a little wondering if he was okay. She was about to ask when he finally seemed to remember what they were talking about. Their patients. The fight. He was talking about them and then suddenly, his hands were shaking enough for his coffee to spill. She sprang into action, setting her own cup aside and coming to her feet to move to his side. "Dr. Decker, Deck, are you okay?" she asked, her eyes moving across the skin that the coffee had touched for any sign of a burn. "And don't lie to me --- I'm a doctor remember? I see through that bullshit."
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GREG DECKER
Human
Posts: 198
Played by:
ANGE
Last seen May 2, 2024 18:05:04 GMT
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Post by GREG DECKER on Dec 30, 2021 19:32:02 GMT
That was why he’d run, wasn’t it?
Deck sank his teeth into his lower lip, his eyes dropping away from Dr Fell. His family had been trying to do their best, understanding stretching out for months as they’d tried to find him help and he’d resisted every ounce of it. They knew he was in pain but he couldn’t cope with it the way they’d hoped and instead of seeing that pain for him in their eyes he’d bolted. It had been his pattern ever since. People would try and get close and instead of cracking the door to let them in, he run straight through it instead. Until Mystic Falls. Nobody had known anything about him here but somehow they’d wedged their way through that door and he’d found his feet rooted to the floor.
Dark eyes ticked back up to Meredith, one corner of his mouth lifting in understanding. ”That’s some real pressure,” he agreed. Especially in a town where your name seemed to mean everything.
The coffee was too hot but he’d sipped anyway, revelling in the way it scalded that tight feeling out of his throat. He wasn’t choking, not here. That was saved for the night hours now, when his eyes would dart to every door and window like the vampire would be through them in an instant without him noticing. One dark brow rose, amusement grunting out as he swallowed a gulp. ”Eventually. Seems like this job trains you to live on the least amount possible. You’re not one of those who sleeps twenty hours straight on their day off, are you?” He couldn’t, hadn’t since those twenty hours were spent lying on a crappy cot under canvas with sand gritty in every crease of his skin.
Her eyes were on him, as dark as his own, as dark as the coffee. Weighty in a way that left his shoulders stiffening slightly under the blue cotton of his scrubs. Deck wasn’t so sure he wanted any of them to really see. He made a sound of agreement low in his throat, nostalgia replacing that ache with something almost as warm as the coffee. ”She was. Kept us all in line. My dad’s a firefighter, so she knew when and how to cut through the bullshit with him. Medicine’s in your blood too, huh?” Oh he’d heard the rumours. Those same names that tarred you here divided you up. Lockwoods were all about town politics, Forbes – you had to be something to do with the law, Fells were doctors by all regards.
A glimpse up at Meredith showed that frown cutting deep and Deck knew it wasn’t about the patients. That was for him. He should’ve headed out when she’d come in. Had his mini-melt down in a supply closet somewhere. The coffee spilled over with its arrival and he was setting the cup aside, grabbing for napkins as she stepped in. ”It’s just a little burn. I’ll be fine. Should be used to how hot the coffee is around here, right?” Deck went to turn, to flip on the cold tap and run his hand under it but Meredith was there. He stiffened, staring down at his hand. ”I’m … just a little rattled,” he said hoarsely. ”Should be par for the course here. This town’s always got something weird coming in right?” He wasn’t about to mutter the damned term. Say PTSD, mention army duty and sympathy rolled in thick enough to choke. It went the same way every time and this was somehow worse. This time it was a vampire who’d tipped him back into it. A nightmare come true.
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Post by MEREDITH FELL on Jan 2, 2022 0:53:17 GMT
Catch Our Breath (with Greg Decker)
Pressure. He probably didn't even understand the half of it and of course she couldn't tell him. The whole Fell Family Legacy crap that had stretched on for well over a century now often landed on her back. She did her best to shake it off or at least, wear it in the way she saw fit but admittedly some days were harder than others. Especially considering the mixed reputation her family carried --- gossips and healers, or some mix of the two.
(like her, she definitely was that mix, but in her defense, keeping her ear to the ground helped give her a heads up on what was going bump in the night)
Meredith made a face at his accusation. "Oh no, I can do about six or seven hours if I am lucky. I am pretty sure you are right. By the time I retire I will be ablet to fully function on three hours sleep. No downside to that at all," she commented, her sarcasm apparent. It always amused her how much she preached healthy sleeping and eating habits to her patients but by virtue of being here, she couldn't practice the same.
She sipped her coffee as he spoke of his parents. She realized she rarely got moments like this with her co-workers. Everything was usually firing on all cylinders. Quiet moments like these seemed few and far between. She was grateful to gain a little insight on him, given that she trusted him to have her back out on the floor. "You're from a family of doers then. Ones who couldn't sit still if they tried --- I see where you get it now," she joked before turning her attention to his comment. "There are a fair number of doctors in my family. I guess I come from the same stock then. Although, there are journalist too. So a bunch of nosy doers." She gave him a smile that of course faltered when she realized that not all was what it seemed with him.
She watched as he did what he should with the burn, her critical eye assessing the reddened skin for any signs that it was more serious that what he said. He could take care of it, of course. It would be second nature to him. But she knew there was more to it than what he was saying. She hadn't lied about being able to see through bullshit. She read people day in and day out, ensuring that she had a good understanding of what made people tick. "Right, okay, if that is how we are playing it," she said quietly with a ghost of a smile. She had chosen her words to let him know that she was on to him but she wasn't going to push. In her experience, when you pushed, people tended to push back. It was better to hold back and hope that if or when he needed to talk, he would remember that she was respectful in this moment. She turned her thoughts to the town instead, given that he had brought it up. "This town may be quaint but it does have the ability to throw you for a loop or two. Trust me, you'll get used to it." Or wind up hurt or worse, she realized.
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GREG DECKER
Human
Posts: 198
Played by:
ANGE
Last seen May 2, 2024 18:05:04 GMT
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Post by GREG DECKER on Feb 2, 2022 19:09:49 GMT
Deck swirled the coffee in his cup, watching the dark liquid whirlpool. Compared to most places in town, or his own industrial sized pot, the hospital’s coffee was bad. Put it up against what they’d drunk in Syria or Afghanistan and it was practically ambrosia. You went for whatever would keep you awake then, the mix so thick it was like gravy and ran the risk of eating through both the chipped metal mugs and your stomach lining. It was joked over but the truth was that sleep was in shorter supply than morphine and gauze. You made do with what you had, struggled through any way you could and when sleep did hit …Huffing out a breath, Deck let himself remember just for a moment that feeling of being woken from what felt like a coma with the first sounds of action approaching the tent. Desperation and pain kicking up that Pavlovian response in every medic in those tents.
He tipped the cup towards her, looking at from the corner of his eye with a ghost of a smile on his face. Like an x-ray, the grim mask with its roadmap of exhaustion suddenly cut through to reveal what lurked beneath. “Little old Dr Fell tottering around at four in the morning. It’s a curse.” Worse still when you were damned with it before retirement. Jesus. Deck sighed, his brow resuming its furrow. Work had been his escape from the thoughts that crept in whenever he was still too long. Entire months on it on end – he wouldn’t be little old Doc Decker rattling around town, diagnosing skin cancer in every other old curmudgeon in the retirement home, he’d be little old Doc Decker taking up a room upstairs, driven insane by what stalked his mind.
How his dad had coped with all of that after their mom had died was beyond him. This vacuum opened up in his life where there’d been something so bright, so sure. That certainty you had that the ones you loved would be there to welcome you back the minute you stepped through the door torn away. It was no wonder he’d come home then, trying to fill the gap his wife left in his sons’ lives with the sacrifice of his career. Deck knew his brother would’ve argued it now but there’d been no one for him to fill that gap with and the only way he knew to stop from feeling like that vacuum had been torn right through the middle of him. “Guilty as charged,” Deck admitted, the lines around his mouth shifting back into that half grin. “My brother’s stepped straight into his shoes.” In a way he’d gone straight into his ma’s. He ran his tongue along the inside of his lower lip before lifting his chin. “Are you just a doer Dr Fell or a nosy doer?” The humour felt rusty but it was definitely there, cracking through everything.
One crack led to another, opening things up that he’d never intended to mention. Here in town that had all started with Alex. She’d hammered through those walls, leaving him hopefully, but ultimately vulnerable, before she’d disappeared on him. Vulnerable enough that the cracks had been blown wide open by the vampire, rattled enough now that he’d burned himself. Deck’s breathing was tight as he ran his hand under the water, not pulling it back again in seconds like half their patients did. Keep it there, cool the burn entirely … use it as the distraction it had proven for as long as he could. His shoulders tightened, his arms aching to stop his hands from shaking. “Playing it?” he echoed. Deck’s lips were a thin line as he looked up and shook his head. “I don’t know what I’m meant to be playing.” A blatant lie. They were all experts at acting fine, it came with the job and they could all see through that bullshit as though they had those x-ray specs.
The laugh that spilled out had just an edge of hysteria to it but it could so easily become far more. Deck drew his hand back, propped both against the edge of the sink as he ducked his head like he was trying to stop his head from spinning. “Get used to it … I’m not sure I ever could. This town’s … how does anybody live here?” The little voice in his head told him he had. For more than two years, longer than anywhere since Soph had died. This was the one time he should’ve bolted but still he was holding on, even if it was just by his fingernails.
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Post by MEREDITH FELL on Feb 13, 2022 23:46:56 GMT
Catch Our Breath (with Greg Decker)
Meredith wondered if she looked as exhausted as he did. Probably not. She was hardwired at this point to run on little sleep, food, and whatever else she had deprived herself of along the way to making it to where she was now. She wasn't under any illusions; it was far from healthy but she was too busy being worried about everyone else instead of being worried about herself. She told herself that she would take some vacation time soon --- and during that time, she would do nothing but sleep, eat real meals and drink lots of water. Maybe even read a book or two.
(funny, she had told herself that last year too)
"Imagine the kind of things I would see at four in the morning," she mused aloud. "Staring out of my window, tracking every move of the other morning owls. I would be that person. The nosy one who knows everyone's business." Which wasn't far from who she was now. Like many of the Fells, she often had her finger on the pulse of what was going on in Mystic Falls. She told herself that she was only helping in most cases but there were some things her blatant curiosity pushed her to know more about. She was starting to think that was the case with the man in front of her. There was obviously more to him than he was letting on --- and she had a feeling that not all of it was good.
"Nosy doer. Hands down. Which is why I am going to rock that little old lady look," she told him, not the least bit worried that she had told him her affinity for sticking her nose where it didn't belong (or where others would deem it didn't belong; she had different thoughts on the matter). She figured he was better off knowing where he stood and where she stood. Especially since she had practically accused him of glossing over what just happened. She met his question with a clear voice and a direct gaze. "I work in the emergency room, Deck. I have seen just about everything. I know the signs of panic attack. You can deny it and tell me I am just seeing things but I trust in my diagnosis. So, the real question is --- you good? Really? Because beyond one human being worried about another, I have patients out there who need a steady hand and a clear head." She wasn't questioning his ability to do his job on any given day. She knew he was a good doctor but she also knew what it was like to have someone's life in your hands and be miles away. Never a good combo.
"As for how people live here, you are living here. So obviously, you have found more to it than the bad --- unless there is something else you're not telling me." It was a subtle accusation that he could take however he wished.
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GREG DECKER
Human
Posts: 198
Played by:
ANGE
Last seen May 2, 2024 18:05:04 GMT
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Post by GREG DECKER on Apr 15, 2022 15:58:35 GMT
He'd once fought retirement with every bit of strength he’d had left in him. Raging outside the General’s tent in Afghanistan, the blood of the last soldier he’d saved - the two travelling in the Humvee with him hadn’t been so lucky – crusted around his nails still, his cheeks gradually turning that same florid colour as he’d yelled himself hoarse. A medical discharge had laid in shreds of paper at his feet, blowing away one scrap at a time, until the MPs had escorted him back to his tent to pack. Back home the word had been thrown around by Lucas and Morgan, his dad knowing better than to say it aloud, suggesting maybe it was time to move on to something else. Pack up the white coat, shrug off some of the stress, lose his mind in the process.
Deck felt goose flesh race up his spine at the thought, the few sips of coffee he’d managed curdling in the pit of his stomach. He was sure it would rush up the back of his throat as he kept that smile in place. The thought had been like a lead weight out in a river, his mood bobbing up and down in the tidal flow. ”The nosy one who’d help out without saying a word about it when you noticed something was up?” he asked, winging a brow. Meredith Fell might’ve been that person but she was subtle about it and he hadn’t seen a malicious bone in her body yet. She was a giver, the sort who fought hard to make sure that others’ lives weren’t broken by tragedy. Two years ago he would’ve run from her at high speed the minute those dark eyes met his own. That sort of person made an amazing doctor but they had a tendency to want to fix whatever they saw was broken and when you were trying to fix someone who wouldn’t admit they were broken in the first place it was an impossible job.
Dark eyes had lifted from his coffee to Meredith, opening himself up just a crack further to her. Alex had barrelled straight past all of the walls he’d tried to throw up around her and after she’d left he hadn’t managed to build them back up again, which was probably how the vampire had charged straight through them. ”You’ll look good with your hair all bundled up in a bun, brandishing your walking stick.” A compliment had slipped out but then she had his throat closing up tight. He should’ve turned off the faucet, rushed out to put some cream on himself, cutting off the conversation neatly enough but a moment’s hesitation left him trapped.
Deck’s gaze skittered away from her, rolling around the room like there was somewhere safer for it to fix. His lips pressed hard together but it didn’t stop his pulse from kicking up another notch, the fluttering of his pulse like a bird trapped beneath his skin. He started off shaking his head, a genuine answer to Meredith’s question before he stopped himself and gave one sharp nod. ”I will be good,” he said without room for argument about it. ”I … I just need a minute. I was … in here … to take it.” He would’ve done it alone, hiding behind closed doors until the moment, or hour, if he could get it, had passed and he was steady enough to throw his shields back up. If a trauma had rolled in before then he’d have tried, letting the adrenalin wash away as much of the panic as it possible could.
Peeling the scalded hand off the edge of the sink, Deck squeezed at the back of his neck. He wanted to shake his head again but it would just have his thoughts rattling around further, like marbles in the emptiness of a preoccupied mind. ”Maybe I shouldn’t be. I never intended to stay.” Alex was the only one he’d admitted that to. ”I hadn’t stayed more than six months any place until now. Those places didn’t have the excuse of screwed up wildlife to chase people out either.” It had been the claws raking through his own mind that had done that. ”How do you deal with them? Do you believe what they say?” Eyes, carrying a little of the fear that haunted him now, lifted to hers. She’d grown up here, if anybody knew, maybe it would be Meredith. Old Dr. Fell, maybe she was the sage one.
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Post by MEREDITH FELL on Apr 24, 2022 23:27:09 GMT
Catch Our Breath (with Greg Decker)
"Exactly," she confirmed when he created a picture of her as someone who would leap in without question. That was just how she was built. If she tried to stop herself she was bound to feel the guilt associated with such a decision later. Maybe she gave too much of herself, maybe she did not give enough --- she had no real baseline to measure it against. She only knew how she felt and what motivated her. She didn't see that changing any time soon even though at times she wished she could (because there were some days where she was so tired she didn't even know how she was going to make it to the end of a shift).
Meredith couldn't help but laugh at his assessment of her old lady style. "Really? That's your thing?" It was clearly a joke but one she could not resist giving him. Her tone and the twinkle in her eye gave it all away to him. "Thanks, by the way. I plan to rock it even when I need that cane." She rarely ever truly rocked now, she doubted that she would get better at it down the road. She lived in scrubs. It was not a good look, not a bad look --- just a look. The same one he was rocking now.
She was waiting now, wondering just what road he would go down. If he denied it, she decided that she wouldn't push him too far. That would not help given the way he was feeling. She was right of course, about what he was currently going through but she didn't need to be proven right. What she needed was for him to be okay. For a multitude of reasons.
In the end, she nodded her head quietly. "You needed a moment and I burst in on it. I am sorry, Deck," she told him as she moved to get up. "I can give this place back over to you..." Before she could finish her offer, he was speaking again and she stayed rooted to the spot.
Do you believe what they say?
"No." The word was out of her mouth before she could think all the implications of it through. She wished she could take it back. There was the secret to uphold. The one that all townspeople who were lucky enough (or cursed enough) knew. She was supposed to play along --- but then again, she had never been the best at following rules. "It's more complicated than that."
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GREG DECKER
Human
Posts: 198
Played by:
ANGE
Last seen May 2, 2024 18:05:04 GMT
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Post by GREG DECKER on Jun 5, 2022 15:43:35 GMT
You had to have a good heart to stick in the ER for so long. It was a department that could burn you fast but those that stuck had something they had onto inside. Deck was pretty sure he hadn’t had it when he’d transitioned, it was just the closest thing to the traunas he’d been used to working on the other side of the world – the closest thing to what he’d known practically since birth. Scuttlebutt around the department was that Meredith Fell needn’t have bothered. It wasn’t like the Fells needed the money or the glory of saving lives on a daily basis. This town had been built by the Founding Families and the fortunes that’d brought them here were still accruing interest in the bank. He wasn’t one to listen to any of that shit but there was a reason Meredith was still here.
It shone through in her concern for him, leaving that tension in muscles that rippled with the discomfort that had sent him scurrying into the protective cell of the staff in the first place. The laugh he wrung out of her with his observation had to have been a balm for the patients, the sort of thing to hold those fears at bay, he wasn’t about to deny it was working on him too. ”Support hose and zimmer frames?” he asked almost lightly. Deck pressed his tongue to his upper lip before he glanced down and shook his head. Thin lines of amusement bracketed his mouth as he looked back up. ”I might have to make an exception when you get there though.” A wink of one dark eye at that to let her know he was joking. Deck’s gaze skimmed her dark hair though, darted away. Brunettes with good hearts? Yeah. That had been Soph down a tee before…
The thought of his wife was enough to have his free hand blindly seeking out his chest even before Meredith knocked down those last shields he had left in place and revealed his fragility. His heart beat wildly against it, the sort of rate that would’ve had the monitors shrieking if they’d wired him up to them.
Run. Just put the coffee down and go. The little voice in the back of his head shrieked at him but Deck tried to ignore it. She’d asked. She wasn’t the sort to pry under the cover of concern. He wasn’t the same man who’d bolted from his last hospital at the first probing question about his past.
Deck pressed his tongue hard to the roof of his mouth as he shook his head. The bitter rush of coffee was trying to crawl up the back of his throt but he willed it down, using the sting in his fingers to push it back where it needed to go. ”You didn’t know. Wasn’t like I put a sign up on the door.” Maybe it’d have been better on his back – ’Fragile, take care in handling’. The cracks he’d thought had at least started to heal had been opened up by that thing – Reina, it wasn’t like she hadn’t introduced herself.
She could have taken herself as he’d explained, made good on the offer without waiting. Others might’ve done but Deck reached out vocally before he peeled his hand from his neck and reached out to settled his hand on her arm, like she might still go before he got it all out. His fingers still glowed pink from the heat of the coffee and the water, the rest of him growing paler by the moment. Eyes that were like black holes in the centre of all that white fixed on Meredith’s, his breath whispering out weakly. ”Complicated enough that most d-don’t get it,” he said tightly. ”But you know the truth of it. You know what did those things?” And yet somehow she was still here, working every day without looking like she was about to shatter at it. How the hell did she have that strength? His brows furrowed as he tried to understand it. He was still holding on by his fingernails, trying to get somewhat back to there but what had happened still had his grip slipping.
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Post by MEREDITH FELL on Jun 26, 2022 1:02:54 GMT
Catch Our Breath (with Greg Decker)
"I am going to wear the hell out of a pair of support hose," she agreed, lifting her shoulders and grinning as she did so. She was glad that the conversation hadn't entirely gone south even as she was realizing that the depths of what she had accidentally wandered into. Clearly he was dealing with a lot more than anyone ever knew (but then again, so many were). She couldn't help but but let her natural curiosity come through and knew that she would have to sit on it if it continued to grow. It wasn't her place to poke too deeply. Instead she could do what she was currently doing --- just talk. If and when he wanted her to leave, she would. For now, she tilted her head. "That so? Well, I am honored, Deck. I like being an exception to the rule."
It fit the tiny ego that she had cooped up inside her head.
Her easy smile faltered a little as he appeared to wander far too close to the same thing that nearly doubled him over in the first place. Her muscles went tight and she nearly was reaching over to put her hands on him. Not the best move, she knew it but the one that would come natural to her. She wanted him to know that wherever he was, whatever was consuming him, he was not alone. But she held back, because the last thing she wanted to do was make it worse.
Still, it was damn hard not to do what she wanted so very badly to do.
"I didn't know then but I do now so you wouldn't be hurting my feelings if you need me to get the hell out." She wanted him to be well aware that she would do whatever was necessary to help him through whatever he was going through. Maybe he wouldn't want her to leave. Maybe he would just want her to sit there and continue their conversation. She was good with that too. She was rarely ever at a loss for words and she could provide a distraction if necessary.
She looked down to where he had placed a hand on her arm and then looked at him. Really looked at him. He was in rough shape, whether he wanted to admit it or not. For a moment, she just watched him, fearing that he would fall to pieces right in front of her. A bit dramatic but there was something so haunted about the way he looked right now. She sank down once again, only this time she chose the chair nearest him. He was going to have to deal with the fact that she had placed her in his close proximity. She waited a beat or two, trying to think how to address what he had said. "Most can't get it. They...would just...it's too much for everyone to wrap their head around." But then she nodded because there was no sense in denying it. "I do know what does those things..." She probably shouldn't have confirmed it but she also couldn't see herself saying anything but the truth in this moment.
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GREG DECKER
Human
Posts: 198
Played by:
ANGE
Last seen May 2, 2024 18:05:04 GMT
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Post by GREG DECKER on Jul 29, 2022 19:09:30 GMT
Once he would’ve died on that hill, clinging to the believe that there was never an exception for anything. Stubborn to a fault, seeing it as a case of everybody mattering, even if both his superiors and the universe seemed to want him to choose. Walled off after the universe had tragically chosen for him in the end, Deck had held on to that idea. Letting people in through his shields, so they could see the shattered man beneath, was an exception he couldn’t make. Every time it had come close he’d run instead, starting over a dozen times over in hospitals usually so desperate for staff that they didn’t care about getting his life story during the interview. He was there to fill a slot, not to join the family. Until Alex.
She hadn’t been ‘honoured’ to muscle her way in, she’d been concerned and that hadn’t been easy to deal with at the start. By the time she was the blur in the rear view mirror his shields had been folded up, set aside like a set of training wheels no longer needed on a kid’s bike. He should’ve been pissed about it, those shields might’ve protected him from what he’d seen after. Deck rubbed the back of his wrist over his mouth, dark eyes rising over it to remain steadily on Meredith. ”I wouldn’t say that too loud,” he joked tightly. ”You never know what ones people’ll have you breaking then.” Like getting them into the blood bank so they could strip the place bare of blood bags.
Every time she came to mind it went the same way. He was tempted to bend over, to ball up as the primitive part of his brain screamed wrong.
How many of them would come to mind to hollow him out today? The vampire, the woman they’d barely saved after she’d been brought in torn from throat to gut by one of those things, Soph. Each one took another bite, leaving some great hollow inside of him for his heart to throw itself around like a bird trapped in a chimney. The edges of his vision blurred faintly, slowly shrinking in like the walls he used behind until they closed in so far he couldn’t breathe.
His fingers curled in towards his palm, the sting keeping those dark edges from eclipsing everything. You clung on to what you could feel, it would trick you far less than what you could see. Feel, taste, smell, although the latter could be just as damning when all it took was the scent of blood to set you off. Deck pressed his tongue harder against his palate, shaking his head at her. If he could’ve peeled his fingers open he might’ve clung to her like a scared child with a parent after a nightmare. ”I don’t need you to,” he said hoarsely. Pre-Alex he wouldn’t have been capable of saying it. Help was the one thing he hadn’t been able to ask for, hadn’t wanted for the most part. What sort of help could they give you for shooting a thing who turned into a who right in front of your eyes?
Screw it. He’d done it. Deck saw Meredith’s gaze drop, wondered if she would pull away from him now. It wasn’t like she’d volunteered to be his lifeline out of this episode.
There was a little less of that franticness to the beat of his heart as Meredith sat. She was willing to stay, to hear out the madness she’d started to pull from him like a lose thread. He just had to be willing to start lancing the wound revealed. ”They just can’t,” Deck said tightly. He hadn’t been able to get his head around it when fur had given way to flesh in that cave. Throwing up, eyes streaming, he’d tried to convince himself the only life he’d taken was the one that had been forfeited when that thing had killed Soph. ”How?” Deck swallowed as the one word worked its way out of his throat. ”How can you know and still come in here every day to clear up after it all? How are you not…” He gestured to her, to the whole, sane woman sitting next to him. How had she not fallen to pieces the way he had? After all he’d seen, all he’d survived, he should’ve been able to pick himself up, dust himself off.
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Post by MEREDITH FELL on Aug 6, 2022 22:29:36 GMT
Catch Our Breath (with Greg Decker)
She already broke rules. More than she would care to admit aloud. She told herself that she was doing it for the right reasons --- that some rules had been made before anyone every really understood that they were not on the top of the food chain. What she did (the rules she broke), she did with good cause and she stood by her decisions. Even if one day, those decisions stripped her of her title. She would leave this place knowing she did the right thing.
(or she would tell herself that)
Of course she didn't say anything like that to him. Instead, she gave him a half smile. "I'll watch my back," she promised. She tilted her head a little, raising her brows as she did so. "Besides, I am not as big a pushover as I might look." She wasn't afraid to let people underestimate her. It always came back around when she proved them wrong --- and frankly, she liked being smug about it.
Meredith stood her ground, watching him with a critical eye. There was so much more she wanted to do for him but she knew damn well to give him his space, to let him decide how much more she could say let alone act on. He was not a patient; he was a colleague and he knew what he was dealing with. She doubted he was objective enough to make sound decisions in that regard but she couldn't just argue her way into helping. That was not how this worked. She would leave if he told her too. She would hate doing so and he would be watched closely from then on out but she would defer to him.
Thankfully, he didn't cast her away and now she had evened the playing field just a little. She had let him know that he was not alone, although she suspected that knowing what was out there and being personally affected by it were two totally different things. She waited quietly for her words to sink and then prepared herself to answer any question that he had. The first was expected and the second? Well, she was glad she had time to work up to that answer because honestly, she didn't know what say.
"My family. We have always known, since the beginning. We pass it along the line like it is some sort of genetic trait. We know because someone has to keep an eye on everyone else..." It wasn't a perfect system by any means. If Meredith had her way there would be some things she did differently but she was just one in a group of many who decided the ins and outs of this town. "As for how...I don't know. Maybe it helps that I have known since I was a teenager. Maybe I got used to it --- hardly an ideal way of thinking about it but..." She shrugged her shoulders. "There are people that want to protect this town. I know it sounds trite and like some grand idea but it does exist. That gives me hope..."
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