bad moon rising

They’d been here before. Mikey coming over to her place after work, slipping into her bed at night. There’d been that invisible line between them. Thin as air and unacknowledged, but enough of a divide to keep them from reaching across it except in sleep. Sitting at either end of the couch to watch movies, sharing dinner at her kitchen table – ordered in as often as not. A routine she’d settled into the same way she did into Mikey’s side when sleep had finally stripped restraint away from the two of them. When she’d broken with it, smashing through the cracks in the walls that had hidden so much of what had happened in Mikey’s life before he’d come to Mystic Falls with that kiss, she’d thought that all they’d had was gone. Thank fuck she’d been wrong.

Pushing aside all that she should’ve been doing – so sure that it was different this time to how it had been with Joseph – Mab had allowed herself to fall back into the new version of that routine. The walls down, the debris from them washed away in the rain. The terrain left behind looking so different from her altered perspective. She was no more certain had to traverse it than he was, but there was no reservations in reaching for his hand to do it together now.

Slipping into bed earlier, she’d scooted close, her arm slipping around Mikey’s waist, her head finding that spot against his shoulder. Falling asleep, lulled by the soft beat of his heart. It had been too quiet those months he hadn’t been there. Her ears straining to catch something she hadn’t realised she was missing. The sheets too cool when she’d woken up, trying to curl into someone who hadn’t been there. In the back of her mind she’d thought maybe it was Joseph she was looking for, but the second Mikey had been back there, Mab had felt those pieces of her life clicking back into their right places. She’d do anything to keep them there now. Fight whatever nightmares came their way, tear down her own walls and rebuild them in the pattern of someone she’d always wanted to be, the person Mikey deserved.

Too deep in sleep, she didn’t catch the change in his heartbeat or feel the shift of his body. Unconsciously her body knew something was amiss, some small sound of complaint whispering past her lips as Mikey slipped from her grip. Mab shifted as he got out of bed, rolling into the spot he’d been in as though she was chasing his warmth. A moment later she was awake, his hoarse words breaking through. All those times he’d slept there, she’d never known him to be the restless sort during the night.

For more than a year after Joseph had died she’d been continually been choking on her nightmares. Waking up from them, running down the stairs like she could stop her great-grandmother from getting to him this time. The street would be empty when she threw the door open, but the old bitch would be standing there on the stairs when she turned back, as though she knew exactly what was going through her head. Out on the road again the dreams had slowly started to melt away, as though that house and the crone in it had always been the source of them. Sleep with Mikey there beside her had been settled, the dreams held at bay, for her at least.

Mab slipped out from under the covers as she heard the sink start running in the kitchen. Maybe he was just getting water, but he’d seemed on edge as he’d left the room, some hint of it left hanging in the air as she padded out after him. She pushed open the kitchen door, lingering for a moment there on the threshold. Eyes still heavy with sleep studied his face. ”It’s OK,” she assured him softly. Slowly, she drew away from the door, bare feet slipping over the cool tile. One arm slipped around his waist, the other cupped his cheek. ”You can always wake me up.”

Worry drew her mouth into a flat line, her thumb tracing lightly over his cheekbone, as though she could erase the stamp the bad dream had put on him. Like a mother with a small child, trying to chase the dreams away with a gentle touch. ”You wanna tell me about it? Sometimes it helps getting them off your chest. I’m a pretty decent listener, you know.” Voicing your problems didn’t always have them popping like balloons, but the weight could be lifted off of them. She’d never thought she’d admit to how she felt about letting Joseph go. The wound had been too raw, the guilt too heavy. Mikey had pushed though and ever since she hadn’t felt the burden over not bringing him back lift. If she could do the same for the man who helped her see a different way through, the man she’d come to care about so much, she’d listen for years.

Tagged: MIKEY BUCKLEY * Word Count: 847

Caring about others was a weakness. Practically every day of her life growing up in that house she’d heard her great-grandmother ranting about it, a warning filled with bitterness, muttered by the crazy old witch. After Joseph had died at those wrinkled hands, Mab had thought perhaps she was right. Opening her heart, loving a man who deserved so much better, had only torn her heart to pieces when the inevitable happened. Her family hadn’t seemed built to love. What they did find of it ended up poisoned. Doomed by Chiara’s crimes, she’d pictured herself living in that crumbling house in fifty years’ time, raving just the way her great-grandmother did. Grief for one lost wrapped around her so tightly that she couldn’t see past it.

She still felt that grief, the weight of loss stamped into her heart, but admitting how she felt to Mikey had shredded some of those layers. It was like light was finally able to pour through the curtains of darkness. There were moments where she could still feel the fear of losing someone she loved again, especially at moments like this, but she would suffer through it a thousand times for Mikey. Mab felt that light flickering inside of her as she left her bed to find Mikey. He had his own shroud of darkness, a past to fight his way out of. She looked into his eyes as she slipped her arm around him, her thumb tracing softly beneath one. Neither one of them as alone now. She never would have said there was much light in her, but what he’d brought to her she would share.

The smile on his face was reassuring, a promise that this wasn’t all bad. He wasn’t running from her again. The words might not come easily to him yet, but they were starting to slip out as she offered to listen. His past wasn’t hers to dig into, but if Mikey chose to open it up to her, she would listen to every word. Her brows drew together at the mention of violent nightmares, the hand on his back pressing lightly in support. That was what had chased him from bed. How many times in those weeks had he woken up beside her, chased out of sleep by them while she’d slept on?

”You don’t think it’s just wishful thinking,” she said softly. Understanding bit deep. There’d been few times she’d felt regret for what she’d had to do to try and find the answers her great-grandmother demanded – most of the things she’d killed had been guilty of something, even if it hadn’t been against her family – when she had, that guilt had followed her into sleep. It was the one time your brain felt safe enough to let you know you’d fucked up, the one time you couldn’t really fight it. Mab studied his face, looking for some she knew wouldn’t be there. Mikey wasn’t a murderer, no matter what he thought he’d done. ”You aren’t in control of yourself on a full moon. If something is happening, it’s not something that you’re choosing to do. Have you tried looking them up? Maybe this is just your sub-conscious fucking with you.” Bitter little reminders that crept in when you suddenly realised you had something to lose.

Mab slid her hand from Mikey’s cheek, wrapping her arm around his neck to pull his head down towards hers. An embrace to reassure him that she wasn’t going anywhere. Turning her head slightly, she nuzzled into the side of his, her lips close to his ear. ”I’m here and I’m safe. Nobody’s going to hurt me. This doesn’t mean they’re coming back Mikey.” But he was obviously afraid they were, like they were lurking outside the apartment door, just waiting for his attention to drop low enough for them to sneak in. ”They’ll have a fight on their hands if they try. I’ll be standing right beside you. They won’t touch either of us.” For years she’d expected St. John to be the one to try and get the drop on her, now there were these other faceless threats out there. ”What can I do to help reassure you?” Drawing back slightly again, Mab looked into his eyes. She wasn’t used to having to anybody worry about her safety, but if there was any way to ease his fears she’d do it.

Tagged: MIKEY BUCKLEY * Word Count: 734

Just five more minutes. It had become a mantra when she’d steal out to Joseph’s place at night. A delaying tactic to avoid going home to that house. With the blinds down, the dawn light just a pearly glint to the darkness, it had been easy to block out the mental image of what waited for her. She’d felt the same the last few nights Mikey had spent here before he’d patched things up with his brother. Stirring in his arms would break the spell that only been falling over them while they were asleep. Laying in the dark, eyes still closed, she held onto the feeling of his arm around her, the slow beat of his heart, the warmth of his body trapped in that pocket out of time. Eventually the spell would break but for those few minutes she could hold onto it.

Googling the name of the man who’d died – deservedly, Mab knew that Mikey wouldn’t have wished an innocent man dead – would break the spell that Mikey had cast on himself. While he didn’t know he could hold onto the belief that he was innocent. Only hurting those who had brought it on themselves didn’t matter, she was sure he just saw it as blood on his hands. She could promise him they were clean a thousand times over, absolving him of what he thought of as a crime, but in the end his conscience crack under what he’d done.

”It’s OK,” she promised hoarsely, nodding understandingly. She’d have settled a hand over his heart like she could’ve soothed the doubts in it, but she wasn’t ready to put even that much space between them. ”When you’re ready to, if you choose never to look, I’ll be right beside you.” It wasn’t a deal breaker for her and she’d already told him that a dozen times over. Mab brushed her thumb along his cheekbone in a gentle arc, as though she could brush those doubts away. Nobody deserved to have that feeling clinging to them like cobwebs, ready to choke them when they tried to fight their way loose.

After Mikey had come clean about what had happened, she’d considered doing what she’d known he likely wouldn’t want her to. It was far from the first blood on her hands. She wanted to be better, but for him she would bloody them again and again. Better for a man who deserved peace than a miserable old bitch who’d never been able to move on from her loss. Mab shied away from the thought that she was just like her. What had happened with Mikey had proved that she wasn’t damned to end up just like her great-grandmother. The tenderness that had never been entirely crushed out of her had her closing the space between them to nothing as Mikey drew her in. She drew her lips from his ear to the side of his head, pressing a kiss there. ”It could be…” But he was right. For people like them, for him it seemed as though it never would be.

Her great-grandmother might have been a shadow of who she had been in her prime now, but one thing her family had seemed to get right then was never allowing anybody to get the upper hand with them. They’d crushed any attempt at striking back at them. Show everybody else what that got someone often enough and they wouldn’t try the same trick. Had Mikey subconsciously done the same with the man he thought he’d killed? Draw a line, drop a body at their door and maybe they would think twice. Mab looked up into his eyes, trying to let a little of her certainty that he was safe, that she was, bleed into him. "They won’t,” Mab swore hoarsely. ”Give me their names and I’ll make certain of it.” She wouldn’t kill without his permission, but there were other ways to push people like that back and she’d use every method she knew to make sure Mikey was safe from his past.

One corner of her mouth drew up into a smile tinged with sadness. She couldn’t lose him, her heart wouldn’t survive two good men dying. ”If I have to go, we go together.” One arm slipped from around his neck, snaking between the two of them to settle over his heart like she’d wanted to earlier. A promise to keep it safe and beating. "There are ways to make sure they can’t fight their way into the apartment. I can make sure they’d pay for trying to get into yours too. I can put spells around the building. Let me protect you the same way you want to protect me? I can’t lose you, I can’t stand by and let them hurt you.” Not when her heart told her that she was already falling in love. The future she’d never expected to have was standing here in her arms and she would give up everything else she had to make sure that Mikey stayed there.

Tagged: MIKEY BUCKLEY * Word Count: 842

”Whenever you’re ready,” Mab echoed softly. All of this would be on Mikey’s schedule. It wasn’t like she believed that they had all the time in the world – in fact they were both painfully aware that it was the opposite – but she did know that rushing into things you weren’t ready for was risky.

She had wondered, over the years that she’d spent rattling around the country, what her great uncle would’ve thought about all of this. Would he have known how his mother would react if he died? Had he gone to serve his country just to try and get away from her? If that had been an option now Mab knew she would have accepted it in a heartbeat. Anything to get out from under the thumb that had been crushing her for so long. Mikey had tried to make the same escape after he’d been released. A fresh start, an escape from the people who’d controlled his life for so long. He shouldn’t have had to worry about all of that crumbling through his fingers now.

If there ended up being blood on his hands, she would help wash it away. An alibi provided that the cops would have no hope of breaking. Removing the people who were still trying to reach out and hurt him would be doing the entire world a favour. One corner of Mab’s mouth lifted slightly. ”Not if it was obviously not you. I imagine they have a hundred enemies, but none of them have somebody like me standing by them. You do. Me and your brother.” If Mikey came clean to Chase about it all his brother would be torn between the job and family, but she was sure that in the end he would make the right decision. Family.

Mab felt his sigh slip through her, like a breeze over her skin. His heartbeat was a quiet thrum in her fingertips that drew her own into the same rhythm. She’d grown used to hearing it, to feeling it, in those weeks that they’d slept together before they’d really slept together. The loss of it, even when it was only from Mikey finally making it up with his brother and heading home, had felt a little like some vital part of her had shifted. Losing it altogether had been like a limb cut off, now it was back, Mab wanted to be caught up in the rhythm of it permanently. Chiara might want her to keep running to try and extinguish St John’s heartbeat, but leaving here, leaving Mikey was the last thing she wanted to do.

Seeing the smile twitch back onto his face was reassuring. Mab hummed her agreement lightly, tapping her fingers lightly against his chest. ”Absolutely. You’re stuck with me now. Whatever you decide to do, I’m going to stand by you.” And if, for her own protection, Mikey tried to go, he wouldn’t make it far before she was there, reminding him that she’d sworn no matter what happened between them, or around them, she’d be with him.

Being small and delicate looking had always led to people underestimating her. She looked too fragile and doll like to be a threat. For years she’d played on it, using it to her advantage. Mikey had always seemed to look right past it, even when he’d had to drag her out of Whitmore, her power stripped away until she was so weak she would’ve had to crawl otherwise. Lifting the hand that was between them, Mab flicked her fingers towards the doorway behind them, aiming for the apartment door. ”Vis sera portus.” The deadbolt she hadn’t thrown earlier thudded shut, power crackling like static energy over the door. It was the least that she could do, with her blood added to the spell she could turn the apartment into a fortress if she needed to. ”That and more,” Mab promised. ”It’s how they stopped me from getting any deeper into Whitmore. I can keep you and your brother safe.” Without turning his apartment into a prison. She wouldn’t free Mikey from one trap only to place him into another.

Drawn in that little bit closer, Mab settled against Mikey even closer than she would have done in sleep. She felt the promise he made as much as she heard it, her hand settling on his back like she could physically hold onto it. It wasn’t a matter of her not wanting to lose him, it was more that she couldn’t. After all that had happened she couldn’t handle her heart being shattered that way again. ”You won’t lose me either,” Mab whispered as his mouth brushed against his. She would fight with every ounce of power she had to save his life.

Deepening the kiss, Mab curled her fingers into the groove of his spine. She fell a little deeper every time he kissed her, the promise of a life beyond what both of them had known shining bright in her heart. They’d both been worried that this would shatter their friendship if it went wrong, but now she knew it would’ve been so much worse if they’d shied away and hadn’t tried. ”Do you want to go back to bed?” she whispered against his mouth. If he wasn’t ready she’d stay up with him, standing right here until dawn peeked around the drapes, or curled on the sofa watching whatever crappy movie was running in the middle of the night. Anything to make sure he wasn’t alone.

Tagged: MIKEY BUCKLEY * Word Count: 920