Criticize

He hadn’t exactly been welcomed to the house by the Ugly Sisters. The guy who’d gotten his hooks into their good thing at college, the guy who’d whispered in her ear enough about people leaching off of her to have Catia thinking twice about a lifetime of servitude. A case of the clap would’ve been more welcome than he was, but for Cat’s sake, he’d walked in that first time with a smile on his face and his hand outstretched. ’It’s a pleasure to meet Cat’s sisters, I’ve heard so much about all three of you.’ Very little of it good. Cam supposed that he hadn’t exactly helped, pre-judging to the point that he’d been looking for reasons to point out to Cat – all those little things that screamed ‘you’re never gonna get to put you first’. They hadn’t deserved her.

Did he feel a little smug that Lucky was staring at him like the ghost of Christmas past? All stiff and stunned, until their eyes actually met and she frowned instead. Yup. Cam’s lips twitched tightly, like live wires had been attached to his mouth to make him move – it was just as torturous. This was meant to happen one day, although back when a bullet had seemed to put an end to anything after he’d pictured it as Lucky realising the error of her ways and begging to have her sister back in her and her daughter’s life. Ha! The universe was laughing as much about that idea as it was tossing him in the snake’s path now.

Like a child he could’ve mirrored her pose, folding his arms over his chest, playing coy about knowing how she was here, but only one of them needed to pull the brat act here. Cam slipped his hand back in his pocket, rocking slowly on his heels as he studied the kid. There was definitely a lot of her mom in her, more than just that frown and the sweet voice that would’ve rotten his teeth. ”I met you when you were a baby,” he told her, knowing just how much kids hated adults pulling that shit. He had at her age anyway, always feeling like it came with the suggestion that he was still far more like a little child than the tween he’d been then.

Cameron laughed, his head hanging slightly as he shook it. Supposed to be dead, that was the truth, the money comment? Not so much. The pittance that had been in his bank account after he’d paid for the ring would’ve gone to Cat, and he hadn’t needed an allowance on the boat – everything was provided right there for them, utilitarian, cheap for the most part, but it all covered the basics. Now the practice was bringing in enough that he wouldn’t have to go rattling a paper cup out front of the coffee shop, hoping for someone like the ironically named Lucky to throw a dime in. ”Supposed to be,” he echoed. ”I guess I’m not.” The hand came free, patting his chest like he was checking before Lucky was in his face. Grab the guy, try and break his arm, and maybe you could prove it to yourself that he wasn’t a ghost.

That half smile of his faded, as he tried to tear himself free of Lucky’s grip. ”Hey, what are you …” Jesus. Cam twitched, trying to tear himself away as she poked straight into his head. Cat never had, whatever she’d been gifted with had been more abstract than that, warnings delivered in her sleep, nothing clear. There’d been people on the boat though, little knots of things – witches, a pair of vampires at one point (that explanation had been a pisser when they’d been handed blood bags at breakfast), a werewolf whose containment on the full moon had been a major concern, although apparently six inch thick metal bulk head doors were a decent deterrent. Psychics. Each with a different flavour. One had demonstrated for him, picking out a description of Cat from his head that had left him rattled and withdrawn for days.

The alley, the gun, waking up to his old man. The endless days on board the boat, the desperation to get off, the resignation, the endless conversations, Mystic Falls’ sign as he’d rolled into town. Cat. The sunrise like burst of light filtered through him at the image of seeing her again for the first time again. The nosy bitch didn’t stop until she was done.

Those bony fingers released in the end and Cam stumbled back a half step as she did. He swallowed hard, pressing the hand of the arm she’d clamped onto splaying against his chest, the fingers of the other hand came up to rub where she’d gripped. Brown eyes blew wide as he laughed breathlessly. ”I’m the fucking asshole? What was that? You can’t be bothered asking how, you just go tunnelling through people without consent? I’d say it’s illegal, but we both know that’s not gonna hold up in a court of law.” Not that he’d try and get her bitter ass tossed in jail, not while her daughter was there, clamped onto her mom’s shirt like she was looking for comfort.

An apology bubbled up for her, but he didn’t get to speak it aloud before Lucky shoved back with that bitchy, ‘I hate being blindsided’, tone. The apology was swept away by that bone deep dislike of the family Cat was unfortunately tied to by blood. ”I tore your family apart? I guess you’ve spent so much time dragging other people’s skeletons out of the closet that you’ve forgotten what yours looks like. I didn’t drag Cat away, you pushed her. She wanted to help you with your girl, but you couldn’t say please, could you?” Pride was a bitch, especially when it stuck in your throat. Didn’t he know it too.

Cam leaned in a little, his expression hardening as those shields he was more than entitled to fucking put up around him went up. His shoulders were stiff, his brown eyes hard as flint as he met Lucky’s again. ”What makes you think I had any choice in staying gone? You saw, didn’t you? I wanted to go back to your sister immediately, I couldn’t.” His mouth twitched sourly as he lifted his chin. ”What’s your excuse? I’m guessing you didn’t come running the minute I supposedly dropped dead, or Cat would’ve mentioned you, told me that her niece was right here.” The selfish jibe stuck in a dagger in his ribs though. Had he been selfish in finally coming to see Cat? Should he have left her mourning him for a lifetime? – and no, he hadn’t imagined that.

Lucky wasn’t done, tiny fists looking to pummel until she had her way and had her sister all to herself again. ”You still don’t see what you did to her. I was more than happy to become a part of your family, but you didn’t want that. You wanted a servant instead and Cat saw that there was something more than that in life. If you wanna bleed her dry again, just try it. Hey, sweetheart, you want a treat from in there?” Cam bent slightly towards the girl, dipping his hand back out of his pocket with a folded five extended between his fingers. Did the kid deserve to hear her mom put on the asshole act? Nope.

Tagged: LUCKY CHRISTMAS * Word Count: 1244

Time had done nothing to mellow Lucky. She radiated with a heat that would’ve put his own to shame if he’d chosen to use it on her, breaking the grip of those bony little fingers around his arm and his brain. She’d been a vicious thing back then, with a mouth that would put a sailor to shame. That hadn’t changed either. Something vicious still remained, only now it had claws that he couldn’t have imagined then.

Cameron tugged himself away the human way, showing a little restraint even if she didn’t deserve it. Telling her to use her words, like a fucking grown up, wouldn’t have had any more effect now than it had ever had. ”So you could get it without making me go through it all again, although I suppose that’s not gonna bother you.” He laughter trailed off, his fingers tightening around the lingering imprint she’d left on him. Later he’d probably feel it on his memories too, that hiss echoing. ”I’d say it takes one to know one.” Only bullshit had always seemed to tire Lucky when it was someone else’s she had to hear. Oh, she’d always loved her own, spat at him and her own sister like bullets. With Cat it had drawn blood and for that alone he’d have been happy not to have heard that razor wire voice ever again.

Now Lucky had seen, she was more than happy to use that razor wire to wrap around the vital parts of him and pull. Cam felt it in his chest, sneered at her like it hadn’t hurt, but oh, she’d probably know it had. ”Picked up after you, took care of you, did everything nobody else was willing to and when you weren’t getting it anymore you shoved her away. That push was your fault.” That petty need to only take the help when she wanted it. Cut your sister off from her niece? Oh that was fine, especially when you got to hold it over her forever more. ”Hate?” Cameron huffed out a breath, baring his teeth at her. ”You showed her that all on your own. I never wanted to break her heart, but you did.” And his broke again now, another crack shot through it by the guilt she was tossing back in his face, like it wasn’t all about making someone else feel those feelings for you.

Denial and transference, the coward’s way out. Funny considering how fierce Lucky liked to make out she was.

Brown eyes dropped, watching Lucky show her daughter the sort of tenderness he’d never seen her give anybody else as he leaned in. He still felt the echo of the bullet wound to his chest, that stab of pain with every beat of his heart. He’d spent days after he’d woken up on the boat, trying to find a way out of his room, standing at the rail afterwards, wondering how many times he’d drown and die trying to swim across that filthy river before he made it to her. ”So I’m a coward on top of a liar and a thief. You got any other accusations to throw at me? I would’ve given everything to get to her, but what good what that’ve been if she just had to watch me die again?” The claws worked their way up his throat, carrying heat on a wave of nausea. He could’ve, but in the end those doubts had shackled his wrists just as tightly as his father had.

Wearing shackles of her own, it seemed as though Cat had kept herself cut off from her family. Oh, and Lucky was waiting to blame that on him too. He dragged a hand over his face, trying to wipe that bitterness away as it rolled up into her mouth. ”You’re talking like I was holding her hostage. What happened after I died, that was Cat’s choice.” Finding love with someone else would’ve been hers too and if he’d pulled up outside the hotel to see her with someone else, he would’ve gone. That wouldn’t have been fair, tearing her life apart twice. ”I hoped she was happy,” he corrected her, not rising to the point where he’d have wiped that smirk right off. ”You ever find anybody else? Or another half dozen others?” Maybe he wasn’t as high and mighty as he hoped, that had been a cheap shot and she’d pushed him right into it.

Offering the kid the five dollar bill wasn’t out of the guilt of having questioned the circumstances of her conception right in front of her, although some part of him smarted over the fact that he’d let Lucky get that far under his skin. ”She definitely takes after you,” he muttered, eyeing the kid for a moment before he looked up at Lucky. She was already nudging her daughter, getting her out of range.

Cameron straightened up, squaring his shoulders again as the coffee shop door slammed shut behind him. He slipped his hands into his pockets, refusing to retreat as Lucky stepped close, trying to intimidate him like she’d undoubtedly done others dozens of times over the year. Why let anybody get close enough to see how much you actually needed them? ”You’re her protector now?” Laughing, Cam rocked on his heels, shaking his head. Like either of them had a right to tell her what to do. ”I’m not back here to fuck her life up. You gonna claim the same?” Maybe she’d grown after all, and not just in the shorts filling department where she’d always believed she was blessed.

Bitch. The word stuck in his throat as she doubled him over. Snarling, Cam remained bent, one hand pressed to the pit of his stomach like that would help extract his balls from her throat where she’d lodged them with one bony knee. ”Try getting between us and I’ll burn whatever you think you’ve got with her to the ground,” he grunted. He reached out with his other hand, fingers biting into Lucky’s elbow as he pulled her close – half in hope that she wouldn’t take another jab. ”Don’t make the same mistake for your girl now that you did then – especially if it’s just some attempt to keep me the fuck out of her life.” Undoubtedly Lucky would be there applauding if something did come along to do it for good this time. Celebration the dead wood she’d gladly seen cut from her sister’s life, the one that had flourished without either of them around.

Tagged: LUCKY CHRISTMAS * Word Count: 1091

He’d never wished ill on his foul mouthed, opinionated, savagely bitchy, whiney sister-in-law, but Cam almost wished a bullet and resurrection on her, so she could feel just what it was like. Seeing the world around you dimming as you choked on your own blood, hearing the woman you loved screaming for help that didn’t come. It was a nightmare that still gripped him at times. The boat had rung with his screams some nights, no amount of reading up on psychiatry or trauma recovery had loosened the hold it had on him. If feeling some reluctance at bringing that to Cat’s door or putting her through his death again, and again until the dragon finally got it right, made him a pussy then so fucking be it.

Cam let out a bitter laugh, the corners of his mouth twitching higher until it was a full out snarl of bared teeth and thinned lips. The heat inside of him had taken a zen master like effort to keep from bubbling up at times, but that he had gotten a grip on – unlike the dreams. ”Who died and made you an expert on how any of this shit works?” Cameron asked. His brows hitched. She wouldn’t have given a shit that Cat had been alone when she’d found her again, or cared about the agony of it happening (for both involved), hell, she’d probably bought a cake and celebrated the fact that she could start to twist her sister around her little finger again. ”Learn to defend myself, die and come back a thousand times while I practice. What do you think that would’ve done to Cat?” Or wouldn’t you have cared. That was the crux of everything.

The hypocrisy was thick enough in the air that they both should’ve been choking on what came out of Lucky. Cam twisted his hand, knuckling his lips as though he could press the bitterness back down inside. He was alive and he was back with the woman he loved, trying to patch up the wounds that still bled between the two of them, he shouldn’t have let Nurse Ratched here tear them back open out of some eye-searing emerald smear of jealousy. Cam shook his head as he dropped his hand, one finger extended accusatorially in Lucky’s direction. ”You think I want her to walk away from her life here just because she willingly walked away from you once? You’re an idiot.” The laugh was sharp, but of course never sharp enough to cut the tiny set of armour Lucky strapped on every morning.

She’d always wielded the weapons that came with it well enough – cutting Cat to the bone and not caring a bit as she bled – and unsurprisingly she’d taken her slashes now. Compared with the gun shot wound and the loss of his life in more ways than one, he’d developed a thick enough skin not to let it show how it got to him. Cam’s smile curled faintly as he shook his head at her. ”Some of us are blessed enough to find the one and stick with them – as least as far as we can. I’m not upset about that. Nice try at deflection though. So, the kid’s not gotten a step-dad then?” And the real father, whoever it had been, hadn’t come out of the wood work to take up the position he should’ve taken. His dad might not’ve been the one whose blood pumped in his veins, but he’d still been there for him. In a way the man who had contributed to his gene pool had too. All that sacrifice hadn’t been for nothing.

Cam felt guilt bite as the kid walked away with the bill in her hands, leaving her mom standing there to take another slash. He laughed, the sting working its way deeper like Lucky was twisting that blade. ”Maybe,” he agreed. It wasn’t too late though, no matter how many years he’d had to suffer through without Cat. Of course, that was all dependent on having balls that worked and Lucky seemed determined to do something about that.

The pain was a lightning bolt rolling up into his gut, tears stinging in his eyes. That cutting laugh was just as bad and he wanted her to choke on it. He was the one that ended up doing that though, his head rocking back with the punch she threw. Pain starburst for just a moment in his cheekbone before his body's natural instinct to heal everything dialed it back. Panting out his breath, Cam looked up at her and shook his head, trying to get rid of the ringing in it. ”I didn’t do a damn thing on purpose except to try and help Cat see that she was worth more than playing Cinderella to her ugly sisters.” No kid should’ve spent their own childhood trying to make sure her sisters got to have one while their dad slowly squandered it all away.

He glared at her, the heat a faint amber glow in his dark eyes. Cam didn’t let it boil over through his touch, he wasn’t going to deprive a kid of her mother – even if that mother was worth a damn – but it was tempting to let just a little through. ”It’s fucking funny hearing you care now. You didn’t then or you would’ve seen what pushing her away did to her.” Lucky had never been aware of the damage her weapons could do though. ”Same goes,” Cam grunted, tilting his head. ”That girl of yours deserves to have her family in her life. Don’t you fucking dare.” He let go of his stomach to grab for her other wrist to stop her. ”We both want her to get to live her life, so how about we make ourselves a little agreement? We steer clear of one another, we let Cat live the way she wants to and if that means it’s without either one of us, that’s a choice she gets to make.” Not that he thought Lucky would ever keep her word. It was going to be a slow drip of poison in Cat’s ear versus his belief that their story together wasn’t over.

Tagged: LUCKY CHRISTMAS * Word Count: 989