self control

It wasn’t apparent the glass had cut that deeply until Raik pulled it from his flesh, even then he assessed it to be a minor cut that would heal in a few weeks. He tossed the sharp down on the tray and took a few steps towards the bar and grabbed a napkin off the bar, pushing the tissue into his wound. Immediately he thought of his brother. Could he go home with a fresh cut? Would Remzi lose control? Would he be affected even if Raik put a bandage around it? All the questions are swirling around his head at a million miles per minute, making his heart race as he started to panic.

The door of the kitchen swung open and the employee was returning with a brush. Raik didn’t want to make a scene about his cut hand, with the tissue wrapped firmly around his palm he lowered his hand out of sight.

Perhaps if he wrapped his hand in a ton of bandages Remzi wouldn’t notice. He couldn’t go back to their motel room until he had done so. Racking his mind, he was certain he spotted a pharmacy on his walk towards the bar. Raik sharply turned away from the employee to head out the bar, but as he did so he collided with a solid object. A person. “I’m so sorry I—” He felt the blood seeping through the tissue, but all that was forgotten when he spotted her eyes. Something which mirrored his brother’s, though he had only seen the change happen once or twice, but it was something he would never forget. The image of his younger sibling manifesting into something else in front of his eyes. It was haunting.

Before Raik managed to say anything more the blonde hurried out the bar, and Raik glanced down at his palm. He and Remzi had joked before, saying this was the perfect way to entice a vampire to show themselves. He ran back to the bar grabbing as many napkins as he could, pushing them firmly on his hand.

“Sir, are you okay?” The employee with the brush was looking at him, clearly concerned. Raik nodded his head, “All good. Thank you” He replied, before dashing out the bar trying to find the blonde. He just wanted to speak with her. Ask her questions. Anything to help him understand his brother better. His eyes scanned the street but he couldn’t see anyone weaving through the pedestrians in an attempt to put distance between the pair. Raik sighed quietly, preparing himself to head to the pharmacy to bandage himself up.

Raik turned left to walk down to the sideway but as he passed the alleyway he spotted someone in his perifocal vision. He turned his head to look down the alleyway. It was the blonde, with her hood up leaning against the brick wall. He forced his hand deep into his pocket, not wanting to trigger her. He stood at the end of the alleyway, hesitant to walk any close to the stranger. It wasn’t as though he was scared of the vampire; rather he didn’t want her to lose control. Remzi had tried to explain to Raik that some vampires cannot control their urges, but insisted he wasn’t one of them. Raik begged to differ.

“Hey, you okay? Sorry about bumping into you back there I didn’t see you. Sometimes I just don’t watch where I’m going” He pressed his lips together, trying to formulate a sentence. What if he didn’t see what he thought he saw? “How do you walk in the sun?” He sputtered before he changed his mind and went back to his motel room. If the female was confused he could play it off as some weird chat-up line.

DANIELLE COLLIER

Naive, as always, Raik believed the vampire wouldn’t hurt him. Why would she? He’d done nothing wrong, instead, he was trying to be a good person by burying his cut hand deep into his pocket, ignoring his brother’s warning that some vampires were savage, seeing humans as nothing but food.

Despite all the killing he’d seen whilst on tour in the military he still tried his best to see the righteousness in the world. Even when he watched a bullet pierced through the side of his best friend’s temple, or as he was pouring cold water on the burns of dying children after their school was bombed. Even then Raik clung to the idea that the world was a good place. There were just a few bad eggs out there, but overall the human race was kind. But that world was slowly crumbling apart in front of his eyes, slipping through his fingers like liquid every single day thanks to the revelation that vampires existed. Things that were designed to kill. His brother was out there killing people. Committing murder for the sake of blood. Yet Raik was still making excuses for his sibling, telling himself Remzi didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

Being too trusting of everyone around him would be his downfall one day. Some days he felt he trusted his brother a little too much, especially when he heard their motel door click shut in the early hours of the morning. Perhaps it was better if he didn’t ask where his brother had been all night. Just bury his hand in the sand for a little while longer until he was forced to face the truth. There was no going back from this.

But finally he’d found another vampire. One that was walking in the daylight as well. He didn’t mean to antagonise her though, he just wanted some answers. Her body language changed when she spotted Raik lingering nearby. Was this a mistake? The only vampire he had dealt with was Remzi.

It was clear from his face Raik was surprised as the female grabbed hold of him, with a strength that matched his brother’s and him against the brick wall, winding him in the process. He knew he didn’t stand a chance against this woman as he was barely able to fend Remzi off when he came Raik whilst in transition. His military training came into practice with his brother though, able to use self-defence otherwise his brother would have torn him apart.

“I—” The vampire thankfully put some distance between the pair as Raik caught his breath “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to... “ Another apology. Pinching the bridge of his nose he sighed before letting his hand fall, “Look my brother is what you are and right now he's hiding in our motel room until the sun goes down... he’s very new to all of this and… and I don’t really know what to do” The final part of his sentence stung hard. He didn’t know how to help his young brother and it was eating him alive. Raik was the big brother in this, the protector, the problem solver but he’d failed Remzi. He’d failed in his role as big brother.


DANIELLE COLLIER

His parent’s exchanged concerned glances when Raik announced he was going to join the military. A man who could barely kill a spider signed up to the military. His dad explained to him in a low voice that one day he might have to pull the trigger and end a life. His mom spiralled into a rant that it went against their religion for him to do such a thing, and pleaded he rethought his life choices. There was a wash of relief over their faces when he explained he wasn’t going to fight, but rather to help as a medic. His mom still needed a lot of convincing, which took months. Even when he was heading off onto his first tour his mom stood soured face on the driveway. His dad however was proud of Raik, waving him off with a smile on his face.

Nonetheless, a gun was thrashed into his hands as the realization dawned that he might have to use it, but this was a career he had chosen to take. The pros and cons were drilled into him during training. Nothing was sugar-coated from the outset.

Everything was different out there. The survival instinct set in and he held tightly onto his gun, ready to use it if necessary. Thankfully the day never came for Raik, unlike most of the other soldiers. Some days he would be sitting eating lunch with everyone, dark eyes scanning the area wondering who had made that decision to take another's life.

Sometimes that’s what he told himself with Remzi. He was a soldier on the field, driven by their desire to live. Part of that included drinking human blood. Neither of them was sure what would happen if Remzi chose not to drink. It was unlikely such a thing would happen though. Despite Remzi denying everything, Raik could see his sibling was struggling with that aspect of things. As a human, he’d overindulged in things and alcohol, but now he was presented with a new vice. Blood. Though he couldn’t overdose on such a thing Raik was concerned his brother was going to lose control. Just how he did when he OD'd. Remzi tried to wash it off, saying their mom was overreacting, but their dad refuted Remzi’s version of the story.

Another apology was on the tip of his tongue, but instead, he remained silent, listening to the stranger. He already expressed enough sorry’s.

Of course it wasn’t the best way to approach the situation, but Raik wasn’t thinking rather acting. All he knew at that moment was that there was potentially a person who could help his brother. His actions were purely driven by the need to help Remzi.

Raik drew his hand up, rubbing the back of his neck as he thought for a moment. A thousand questions were running through his mind, but for now he had to pick out the most important ones, rather than drown the vampire in them. “Thank you…” He spoke, bringing his hand back down again as he shifted his weight to his left foot, “How can my brother get one of those daylight rings?... And” He paused, sighing harshly as he already knew the answer. “It’s permanent right? Like… he’s a vampire forever?” His voice laced with sadness as the word vampire felt foreign in his mouth. It was something that belonged in fictional books and on the internet. Something that shouldn’t exist in the real world and his brother certainly shouldn’t be one.

Though he already knew the answer to his last questions and it broke his heart every time he thought about it.

“Also, my brother tried to compel something the other day and it didn’t work… does it not work on everyone?” Apparently the skill failed on the police officer a few nights ago when Remzi was brought in for questioning after being found wandering the streets covered in blood.

DANIELLE COLLIER

So it wasn’t going to be as simple as walking up to a witch and asking for a daylight ring. Remzi had the tendency to rub people up the wrong way, vampire or human. Raik knows that's another reason he was dragged into the police station that evening. He was considered to be a well presented man, who wouldn't lie. One look into his military background and people tended to respect him automatically. The police officer didn't buy it as much as others. Something odd went on in that interview room between the officer and Remzi, but as always his brother assured him everything was in hand. That usually meant it wasn’t though. Absolute nothing was in hand and carnage was going to ensue.

He didn’t push the subject any further with his brother though, rather he was grateful the pair had been released without any charges. Remzi still in his blood soaked clothes, with that annoying grin plastered across his face. A grin that said ‘we got away with it even though Raik didn’t know what it was.

It was a wonder Raik hadn’t turned grey with stress yet and he had checked a few times in the mirror.

“Yeah, we heard we needed a witch… and my brother isn’t the most… he tends to say the wrong things to people” He remarked, a soft sigh followed. “How did you find a witch?” Did they accept bribery? Money? Raik would pay a large sum to have his brother feel the sun again. A sprinkle of normality back in their life. Pretending that evening in Vegas never happened and his brother wasn’t dead. Which would work fine until the smell of blood passed Remzi’s nose and those unnatural veins crept down his face. Something which he had only witnessed once, but it was an image he’d never forget.

The nightmares he had following his tour were slowly being replaced with real life nightmares. Vivid dreams of his brother losing control and killing the people he loved. He would wake some mornings tangled in the stiff motel bedsheets, trying to claw his way out as the sweat rolled down his neck. Remzi would usually be in the bed next to him. Fast asleep as though their world as they knew wasn’t crumbling around them.

Her tone indicated she was just as disappointed at the lack of cure as him. It was a blow hearing it come from someone else, but it needed to happen. He needed to accept what had happened and try to move forward. Somehow, someway. “I thought as much…” His voice trailed off quietly, as his mind was churning over the information.

Permanent. Forever.

The brothers needed to think about what they were going to say to their parents or even their friends back in Detroit. He hated to think of Remzi alone in the world after everyone around him had passed on.

Raik nodded in response to her explanation. Vervain, whatever the hell that was, or someone supernatural was a plausible explanation, “He thought it worked on everyone” He let out a short chuckle, somewhat amused by the thought of Remzi trying to compel his way out of the police station. He could laugh about it now, but at the time his palms were clammy as he was trying to explain Remzi hadn’t killed anyone. Despite the red stains on his clothes, “And… um… the blood lust… is it easy to control?” He paused, clearing his throat as he glanced over at the stranger, “Because my brother keeps telling me he has everything under control, but… I don’t believe it… he’s the type to overindulge in things. Never knows when to stop” things, alcohol, girls. Whatever vice it was Remzi was there for it and Raik was concerned his sibling was replacing all of that with human blood.

DANIELLE COLLIER