guilty conscience

It was a two to one vote. Lotite was to trust Grey. Viv told her to ignore Lucky as she was probably just trying to scare Lottie and Catia was adamant Grey could be trusted. It still played on her mind that Grey could have killed people.

It wasn’t the only thing that was weighing heavy on her mind though. JJ was prominent in there as well. Technically she hadn’t cheated on Freddie because they were on their way to a divorce, but it felt like she’d done something wrong by sleeping with JJ. It was ridiculous, especially as Freddie did cheat on her. She hadn’t told anyone about JJ, not even Viv. Although the morning after the deed she was on the verge of texting Freddie to tell him what had happened, like he needed to know.

The evening she spent with JJ was a bit hazy, thanks to the few cocktails she knocked back at Campbells Bar. She messaged him the following day to say she had fun with him and maybe they should meet up again, but JJ wasn’t very forthcoming. It became apparent it was just a one night stand, something Lottie wasn’t really built for. She formed an emotional connection with every single man she slept with, but she knew she had to push JJ out of her mind.

That began impossible once she realised her period was a few days late. Okay, it could have been late for multiple reasons, but obviously Lottie jumped to the worst conclusion. She was pregnant with JJ’s child. How the hell was she going to raise a child whilst living in a hotel? They had family rooms though, so maybe she could move into one of those. Catia and Lucky could help her raise the child. It was fine, everything was going to be fine. Lottie had always wanted a child anyway, so maybe this was her chance, even if it was with some random guy she met in a bar. Maybe JJ would warm to the idea of being a dad and they could try make some kind of relationship work, for the sake of their children. Okay, now she was overthinking a little too much.

She needed to check she was actually pregnant first before planning a future with JJ and her unborn child. After work she would head straight for the pharmacy. She dusted one of the lamps in the hallway lightly, the feather duster going over it a thousand times as she was too busy thinking about what she wanted to happen. Did she actually want to be pregnant? Would she be disappointed if the test said negative? Her attention was pulled away from the lamp as she saw Lucky storming towards her.

Oh fuck, her sister didn’t seem like she was in a great mood which meant Lottie was about to have strips torn off her. When they were children and Lucky was in a bad mood Lottie would hide in her room, only surfacing when things had calmed down. Sometimes she never made it to her bedroom quick enough though and faced Lucky’s sharp tongue, which often brought her to tears. It started instantly as she accused Lottie of missing a chunk of dust. She glanced down at the thin wedge for a second. Had she dusted there yet? “I’m getting to that.” She mumbled as she looked back at her sister sheepishly.

Her expression lightened up at her sister’s news. “Congratulations! Lucille is gonna be over the moon to have a little brother or sister.” It was probably going to be another girl knowing their track record. Lottie was over the moon too because that meant she and her sister could be pregnant at the same time. Their children could be best friends, go to school together and go to college together. It was going to be great! If Lottie was pregnant too. “So…” She lowered her voice even though there was no one in the hallway, “I think I’m pregnant as well.” Oooo, hopefully she’d have a little girl too.

LUCKY CHRISTMAS

Since the moment she and Freddie married she longed for a child to complete their perfect little family. Her dream was to have two girls.. They would be born a year or so apart so they could be best friends, just like her and Viv. The dream would be to have twin girls, but Viv explained those odds tended to skip a generation which made no sense to Lottie because Viv was the older one. So it would skip her and come straight to Lottie. Hopefully. But now she was praying there was only one growing inside her because she couldn’t handle two right now.

Lucky’s energy didn’t match Lottie’s, though it rarely did. The surprise child wasn’t something to be celebrated. “And?” And what? “Well y’know what they say. Those tests are like 99% accurate so like…” She trailed off, realising this wasn’t what Lucky needed to hear. “But it could have been a faulty one so yeah, let’s head to the clinic!” Already under the assumption that she was also invited on this little trip. It was time for her to lock into the big sister role.

Was it Freddies? Lottie remained quiet for a moment as she mulled over that idea, but no that was impossible. She wasn’t stupid enough to miscalculate the months that much. “No course not!” She exclaimed, as if she’d been sure of that the whole time. “Well I haven’t done a test yet.” The only sign was that her period was a few days late and of course she was going to jump to the extreme.

Lottie reached out, grabbing her sister lightly by the arm. “No… let’s go to the clinic. Together!” She’d already thrown her feather duster down and was ready to leave before Lucky had the chance to protest. “I won’t tell anyone… I promise.” She may have had the IQ of a newborn baby but she still knew how to be a good sister. Holding a secret like that may cause her to spontaneously combust, but she’d do it for Lucky.

Once they were checked in at the clinic she settled down next to Lucky. “Who might be the dad?” She paused for a second, before starting to talk again, “I’ll tell you about mine! So, his name is JJ. He’s English and works for like some newspaper or something.” She kept her voice somewhat low as she spoke, but there was still volume there.


LUCKY CHRISTMAS

Heading to the clinic together wasn’t exactly the perfect sister bonding activity but Lottie believed it was. She’d almost forgotten why they were heading there until they walked through the doors. This wasn’t some big exciting day out for them. They were there to see if they were going to be mom’s.

Had Lottie moved on from Freddie? She couldn’t tell. Yes she still cried until she was almost sick sometimes and yes she still loved him a lot but she had no idea if she was over him. This was all a new experience for her and she had no idea how to actually process heartbreak. She was purely running off advice she’d seen on the internet. One piece of advice was to get under another man, which is exactly what she did. Another was to cut her hair off and dye it, but she couldn’t bring herself to hack her locks off. “No… I’m still married anyway so I can’t marry another man because that’s like… um…” Big something? Bigot? “You can go to jail for that.” She gave up trying to remember the word. But Lucky’s comment had her mind spinning a little. Would JJ want to marry her? It didn’t feel like he did because he never texted her back but then it would be cool to marry an English man because she could move to England. Maybe she’d get to meet Prince Harry. Lottie wasn’t going to mention to Lucky that JJ had gone radio silent since their hook up though because she couldn't hack the sly comments from Lucky about it.

As soon as the doctor called Lucky through to the room Lottie jumped to her feet as well, as though she was invited along too. She sat in the corner of the room as the doctor asked Lucky a few questions, with her sister answering them with one word answers. Her attention bounced around the room until her eyes settled on the scales. Could the doctors tell she was pregnant just by weighing her maybe? The little ball of cells inside of her must have weighed something.

She watched intently as the doctor did all her weird looking tests on Lucky. Then she announced the news. Lottie was about to launch herself out of the chair in joy and hug her sister but for once she actually read the room. Lucky wasn’t happy, which became more apparent when the doctor left the room and Lucky started to shed a few tears. Lottie remained rigid in her chair, unsure as to whether she should stand up and approach her sister to give her a hug. It was like wondering whether you should touch an upset feral cat. Lucky could tear Lottie’s arms off for even attempting to touch her.

But she sprung off the chair at Lucky’s next comment. “Cam’s?!” She practically shrieked loud enough to notify everyone within a twelve mile radius. “As in dead Cam who’s not dead?” Catia had spent some time filling Lottie in what had happened recently, even though most of it went over Lottie’s head. “What the fuck Lucky?” Jesus.

Lottie couldn’t let her emotions run away with her otherwise some weird weather would hit Mystic Falls, but Freddie used the word accident when he was telling her about his affair. All of it was an accident and he never meant to hurt her. “So what you accidentally fucked him?” She scoffed, shaking her head. People accidentally trip over power cables, not accidentally fuck their sister’s ex. “Why did you do it?” It was totally gross, yes.

It was a big secret for Lottie to keep to herself. “You have to tell Catia.” Otherwise Lottie would have to avoid Catia for the rest of her life because there was no way she was going to be able to keep tight lipped about this.


LUCKY CHRISTMAS