ROSE DAVENPORT
Vampire
Posts: 55
Played by:
Mandy
Last seen Oct 27, 2024 18:50:16 GMT
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Post by ROSE DAVENPORT on Jul 7, 2023 1:14:19 GMT
COLD COMFORT
WITH IAIN
Iain had done as she asked --- taken her from place of her death (now the place she had essentially been reborn). He had taken from the whole town, retreating back to Mystic Falls. She was glad for that. Glad that she was on more neutral territory but still within close proximity of home should she want to go back.
(she didn't know if she ever could at this point)
Inside the apartment, she had taken up residence in the second bedroom, curled on her side in the bed as she tried her best to absorb everything. All at once. One at time. She wasn't even sure how she should take it. She was left to sift through memories that she had no emotional connections for decades. Now they were being relieved and rebranded --- some in the most painful of ways. She saw the death, the pain, the destruction she had caused. She could hear how she had laughed throughout it all.
She was a monster.
She knew that Iain was in the apartment. He checked on her but mostly gave her her space. She appreciated that. She also clung to the memories she had created with him in Scotland because there, there she had been happy. She just hadn't realized it. The fact that in the middle of all the bad there was something good gave her hope that she could overcome all of this.
She finally rose from her bed in the middle of the second night. She was hungry but fearful of how to sate it. In the past it had been simple, guilt free. She chewed on her bottom lip, telling herself that Iain was a good person and he drank blood. There was a way. He could teach her --- she relied on him for so much. He had been so good to her even when she had tossed back pithy remarks and rolled her eyes.
(oh great, more guilt)
Rose moved through the apartment, doing her best to keep quiet but in the end she was drawn to his room anyway. She poked her head in, watching him in the bed and deciding whether or not she should just go back to her room. But the guilt (and yes the happiness) upon seeing him pushed her forward.
"Iain," she whispered, her voice soft in the room. "Are you awake?"
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IAIN MCKEEGAN
Vampire
Posts: 42
Age:
305
Status:
Widowed
Played by:
Jodi
Sometimes silence is violent
Last seen Nov 4, 2024 20:59:53 GMT
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Post by IAIN MCKEEGAN on Jul 23, 2023 20:47:03 GMT
Rose hadn’t fled from him when he prized open that door which had been closed for years, forcing her to feel everything. She asked him to stay with her, which of course he did. He made a promise to her that he would be there for, no matter what. He would be there for as she was about to go through what some vampires describe as hell. He’d make sure she got out the other side though, he wasn’t going to lose her to the darkness. His hand would be locked with hers the entire time. He made up the second bedroom for her and watched as she crawled into bed, lying in the same position for hours on end. He didn’t push her to speak though, but he did check in on her every hour. It killed him to see her so broken and he desperately wanted to put her back together, whether it took a few months or a few years. There was a part of him just trying to make up for letting Sabrina and Fiona down. He refused to let Rose down. Sometimes he would linger outside her closed door, listening as she sobbed into her pillow. It brought a tear to his eye as the sound of her crying tore through him. This was a whole new side of Rose, one he’d never met before. He’d caught a glimpse of it in Scotland, but she’d be quick to notice she was slipping and push everything back into a box again. Nonetheless, he enjoyed their time together, yearning for more which is why he followed her to America. It was impossible for him to let go of her. He drifted in and out of sleep, ears sharpened to listen out for Rose if she needed. He’d slipped into a deeper sleep by the time she was at his bedroom door, but the sound of her voice ripping him back to reality. His eyes adjusted the darkness quickly as he spotted Rose in the doorway, “Rose... Aye a'm awake. Ye okay?” He shuffled himself upright in bed, leaning over to flick on his bedside lamp, “Come in if ye want.” He gestured towards the free space on the end of his bed. ROSE DAVENPORT  |
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ROSE DAVENPORT
Vampire
Posts: 55
Played by:
Mandy
Last seen Oct 27, 2024 18:50:16 GMT
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Post by ROSE DAVENPORT on Nov 12, 2023 19:47:28 GMT
COLD COMFORT
WITH IAIN
She knew he would be awake or wake soon enough. He had watched over her and there had been so many times that she had wanted to call him to her, ask him to curl up with her in her bed and just hold her. But she didn't know if she deserved such a thing. It seemed strange to ask for comfort when she had been the one to do bad things. If anything, he should be pushing her away but she was forever grateful that he hadn't. It would have broken her completely.
(because she was cracked, but not fully shattered, she had come to decide)
Rose didn't think twice at his invitation, moving into his room and crawling onto his bed. She still curled up into her self, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. For a moment she just stared at him in the dark, trying to figure out what to say that didn't sound trite and stupid. She was so used to shielding herself with sarcasm that she almost fell back on that.
"I am hungry," she told him truthfully, hoping that she conveyed just what she meant by that. Undoubtably he would understand because he had faced the same kind of hunger. "But...I can't just do what I used to do. I hurt so many people, Iain..." There was a rush of emotions again, sort of like being hit by a wave that pushed her off her feet. She let out a frustrated cry and ground her hands into her eyes as if she could avoid letting it overtake her. She then took a deep breath and let her hands fall away.
"I knew this was waiting for me when I hit the other side," she admitted. "All this pain, guilt...I was trying to avoid it all and it came coming for me anyway. It would be easy to blame you for this..." She gave him a pointed look. "But I know in the end, this was going to happen. It had to happen. It still hurts so damn much though." |
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IAIN MCKEEGAN
Vampire
Posts: 42
Age:
305
Status:
Widowed
Played by:
Jodi
Sometimes silence is violent
Last seen Nov 4, 2024 20:59:53 GMT
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Post by IAIN MCKEEGAN on Nov 15, 2023 20:47:15 GMT
Dealing with Rose’s emotions was uncharted territory for him. He didn’t think seeing her breakdown would affect him so much, but it did. It had him swallowing back his own emotions because there was only room for one of them to cry. He was determined to hold it together, for her. He’d be her rock, for however long she needed him, but he was nervous when he thought about what the future held for them. Iain had done what he needed to do, but now what? Where did that leave them? He pulled the covers back, sitting on top of them as she climbed onto his bed. There was silence. His gaze caught hers as he waited for her to speak, if she wanted to of course. He was happy to sit in silence if that was what she needed. Her voice cut through the silence eventually. He nodded slowly, understanding where she was coming from. The hunger they felt was painful at times, driving both of them to do unspeakable things. “Tis okay.” He moved down the bed slightly to be next to her, “We can fin’ ye some blood bags at th’ hospital... They’ll help wi’ th’ hunger.” It wasn’t going to help with the feeling of guilt that pooled inside of her though. Iain took hold of her hand. If blaming him made her feel better then he was happy to take it. She could scream and shout at him for triggering that switch if she wanted. “Ah yeah, but it’ll pass… eventually. Aye, yo made some but we’re all guilty of that... Ye were just trying tae protect yersel’.” He pulled his hand away from hers, letting them fall into his lap as he glanced down at them. “Ah fucked up at the beginning tae. Ah murdered mah wife shortly after I was turned. Ripped her throat open ‘cause I couldn’t restrain maself.” His eyes closed for a second, as the memory flicked through his mind. Centuries later and it still felt like it happened yesterday. “None o’ us are perfect.” His gaze darted back to Rose, with a sombre look on his face. A piece of information he’d been holding back from her since they met because he was worried she’d use it against him with her emotions off. ROSE DAVENPORT |
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ROSE DAVENPORT
Vampire
Posts: 55
Played by:
Mandy
Last seen Oct 27, 2024 18:50:16 GMT
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Post by ROSE DAVENPORT on Jan 7, 2024 22:35:10 GMT
COLD COMFORT
WITH IAIN
She didn't realize until she was in the warmth of his bed how much the space smelled like him --- and how much that smell was a comfort to her. She remembered the first few days of her turning and just how reactive her senses were. It had been overwhelming and she had just given into them. Let them drive her alongside her instinct for blood. Now, it was a bit like a rebirth --- and she was learning how to temper those senses and make them more realistic.
But his smell...oh, she was using that to her ground her right now (whether or not that was fair to make him her rock, she would think about later; it was one step at a time at the moment). For now, she curled up on her side, letting her weight sink into the bed as she listened to him.
Blood bags. That was the solution. Her stomach turned a little at the thought. She knew many vampires did things that way but it seemed so foreign to her after decades of getting it straight from the source. "Is that how you do it? Do you use blood bags? I know this sounds silly...or gross...or I don't even know, but does it feel the same? I mean how can it? The blood is cold...oh God, do people warm it up in the microwave?" The thought was so absurd to her that she couldn't help but snort laugh despite her current state of mind. She looked up at him with her big eyes, feeling a bit sorry for herself, which was ridiculous considering all the pain she had caused since turning.
She felt his hand pull away and a part of her wanted to chase it, pull it back to her, make him a literal life line. But then she realized the change in him and propped herself up a little as he spoke. Her features knitted together in shock at his confession. His wife --- he had killed his wife. She sat up properly, moving closer to him so that she was practically in his lap at this point. She reached up, her hand coming to rest on the side of his face. In a strange way she felt a kinship. They had both killed someone dear to them in their turning and they had lived with the consequence. She had taken the easy way out but he? How did he do it? "I am so sorry, Iain. I had no idea...mainly because it feels like everything I have ever done when it comes to you has been about me. I should have asked...but I was selfish..." Another thing to feel guilty about but she would reconcile that fact. She would be there for him just as much as he had been for her. "How did you do it? How did you cope with your actions?" She was curious because she needed to do the same now. |
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IAIN MCKEEGAN
Vampire
Posts: 42
Age:
305
Status:
Widowed
Played by:
Jodi
Sometimes silence is violent
Last seen Nov 4, 2024 20:59:53 GMT
|
Post by IAIN MCKEEGAN on Jan 13, 2024 22:42:26 GMT
Iain suppressed a smile at her reaction to the blood bags suggestion. It was a starting point for her, until she was ready to drink from the vein again. It was either that or she’d wither away in nothing. Iain wasn’t going to let that happen to her. “Tis a mixture o’ blood bags '’n’ the snatch, feed, erase way. Bit nah, it doesn't taste th’ same at all. I’ve never warmed them up.” He pulled a brief face of disgust as he thought about throwing a blood bag in the microwave, “We can give it a go th’ morning, though. Ye'll find tis nae that bad.” It was what her body was craving, whether it be fresh or chilled. Finally, he was ready to share his past with Rose. Everytime he mentioned or even thought of his ex-wife he felt a sharp pain of guilt, stabbing him straight through the heart. His guilt had eased over the years, but he still clung onto a part of it. It kept him on the right track for years because there had been times it would have been easy for him to drift off towards the darkness. The darkness Rose had drifted off towards. He pulled his gaze away from his hands, looking back at Rose who was inches from his face. This had been the closest he’d ever got to her, emotional and physically. “Tis fine.” Course she was selfish, she was without her humanity. Iain didn’t blame her though, he never had, even when she left him after ten years. “Ah knew she wouldn't have blamed me for whit happened, she knew ah wasn't a bad person. Ah just lost control one day... but we're not bad people, Rose. We make mistakes.” He raised his hand to his cheek, placing it lightly over hers. “Ye’r not alone in this. Ah will always be ‘ere for ye. Ah promise.” Together, they’d fix everything. ROSE DAVENPORT |
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ROSE DAVENPORT
Vampire
Posts: 55
Played by:
Mandy
Last seen Oct 27, 2024 18:50:16 GMT
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Post by ROSE DAVENPORT on Aug 16, 2024 17:12:55 GMT
COLD COMFORT
WITH IAIN
Snatch, feed, erase. He had told her that so many times when first crossed paths. It was the best way to protect themselves and get fresh blood. She had rolled her eyes at him, she remembered that. She didn't want to go to the trouble of all that --- she just wanted to feed.
(and how many people had lost their lives because of that?)
Rose took a deep breath, knowing she couldn't avoid blood forever. Already she could feel her cravings threatening to take over her --- and add to that, she was growing weaker. She not only wanted blood but she needed it. "I'll try. I am sure that I will find...some method that will work. I just...I need to learn. Actually learn. I don't want to kill any more people. I have so much blood on my hands." She would have to learn to live with that. She had tried the other way --- running away from her guilt (and every other emotion imaginable). All she had done was make it worse. She had learned the hard way (the very hard way) that avoiding your problems was no solution. "Guess I will actually be listening to all those lessons you tried to give me years ago." She gave him a small smile. She didn't expect him to coddle her or rehash any of the good advice he had already given her. She was just grateful that he was sticking around.
There was something so comforting him by just being close to him.
She took a deep breath, hoping that what he was saying was true. Inherently, she was not a bad person. She had made mistakes. Many mistakes. But there was hope for her. Look at him. She had never once thought he was a bad person and even now, knowing what he had done, she still didn't think that. Instead she leaned into his touch, her features soft as she did so. "Thank you. Thank you for never giving up on me. Even when I made it nearly impossible. You don't know how much it means to me." She paused for a moment and then pushed through. "How much you mean to me."
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IAIN MCKEEGAN
Vampire
Posts: 42
Age:
305
Status:
Widowed
Played by:
Jodi
Sometimes silence is violent
Last seen Nov 4, 2024 20:59:53 GMT
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Post by IAIN MCKEEGAN on Aug 16, 2024 20:39:56 GMT
Rose wasn’t just some project to him. She wasn’t something which needed to be fixed and put back together. It was more than that. When they first met he promised to help her. A promise he intended to keep and finally managed to succeed ten years later. There were so many times he could have turned his back on her, walked away, but he chose to stay no matter how hard it was. But just because he’d succeeded in helping Rose to find her emotions again didn’t mean he was done. She faced an uphill battle from now on. One he intended to help her with. “You’d struggle tae find a vampire without blood on their hands... Ah have a lot of blood on mine but ye learn tae live with it.” Learn to live with your mistakes. Iain had managed to heal himself from all the mistakes he had made over the centuries. He broke into a smile at her comment, “A’m happy tae show ye all over again.” He’d do anything to ease Rose’s pain. Softly he brushed his thumb over her cheek, smiling as he did so. “Ah couldn’t give up on ye... Ah knew ye were worth saving.” No matter how difficult she had tried to make it for him over the years. “A’ve never told ye this before bit ye mean a lot tae me. Ye’v helped me tae. Ye made me realise it wasn't healthy tae lock myself away in Scotland ‘cause I was angry at th' world... angry ‘cause the people I loved had died... Bit then ye came along.” ROSE DAVENPORT |
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ROSE DAVENPORT
Vampire
Posts: 55
Played by:
Mandy
Last seen Oct 27, 2024 18:50:16 GMT
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Post by ROSE DAVENPORT on Aug 31, 2024 19:11:56 GMT
COLD COMFORT
WITH IAIN
That's where she had gone so horribly wrong the first time around. She hadn't been willing to learn. In fact she had been terrified of the prospect. So terrified that she had avoided it all together. She might not have realized what she had done when she stood over her father's body and simply turned her emotions off but she had come to understand it. She could have turned them back on years ago but she didn't. She knew if she did that fear would return and it would be blanketed by guilt. So much guilt. She ran from it (added to it) and now she was paying for it all. She had to untangle all the strings and deal with the aftermath.
But she was not alone.
That was the missing piece. If he had been standing next to her when she made her first kill, he could have pulled her back from the brink. What she had done was horrific but he would have helped her wrap her head around it. Since he hadn't even known her then, he was doing it now.
"I think I wanted the easy way out. Part of me still does. But I understand now that I have to learn how to deal with it all. It will never get better if I don't. I was in a holding pattern for far too long." She wondered if there were vampires who lived like that for their entire lives. No doubt. They would miss out on so much but she knew from her own experience there was no convincing them of that. She was just coming to realize what it meant to be a vampire with the full spectrum in front of her. It was almost like a reawakening.
She looked up at him, liking the feel of his touch on her cheek. There was something so grounding about him. Like he kept her from spiraling. That was a lot to put on one person. She knew that. When she finally figured out to ground herself she would stop relying on him too much. She never wanted to feel like a burden. "I never realized...but then I guess you would haven't come all this way if I meant nothing. I am glad that I could help you just a fraction of how you've helped me."
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IAIN MCKEEGAN
Vampire
Posts: 42
Age:
305
Status:
Widowed
Played by:
Jodi
Sometimes silence is violent
Last seen Nov 4, 2024 20:59:53 GMT
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Post by IAIN MCKEEGAN on Sept 16, 2024 15:54:27 GMT
Iain watched her closely as she spoke, his steady gaze unwavering. Her words were raw, filled with the weight of her past and the scars she'd carried for so long. He understood that weight all too well. “Ah would’ve done th’ same after killing ma wife if I knew I could switch it all aff.” Somehow the grief never drove him to dig deep enough for that switch. “It’ll get better. Ah promise.” There was a light at the end of the tunnel. He knew it. If he had been there back then, if he'd known her during those dark times, he would have fought to pull her out of that pit of despair. He would have stood by her side, helping her face the fear, the guilt, the overwhelming emotions she buried so deeply. But that was then. They hadn’t met, not until much later, when she was already neck-deep in her pain. When she looked up at him, her hand gently resting on his, Iain felt that familiar sensation. He was her anchor, just as she had become his. But she was strong—stronger than she gave herself credit for—and when the time came, she would find her own balance. “Ah knew ah had tae find you ‘n’ ah wouldn’t have stopped until ah knew ye were okay.” Reluctantly his hand fell from her face, immediately missing the feeling of her skin brushing softly against his. His emotions had been sent into a spiral after Remzi gloated about sleeping with Rose. It left him asking himself the question– why did he feel jealous? ROSE DAVENPORT |
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